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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The table below gives information about the average annual spending of university students in three different countries.

The table below gives information about the average annual spending of university students in three different countries.
The given table gives data about the cash expenses of
students
Use synonyms
 in three countries.
Overall
Linking Words
, the highest spending of
students
Use synonyms
 was determined in
Country
Use synonyms
 A
while
Linking Words
 in
Country
Use synonyms
 C it was much lower. In every
country
Use synonyms
,
Accommodation
Use synonyms
 took the largest amount of
money
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 other expenditures showed counter results. Regarding
Country
Use synonyms
 A, the total spending of
students
Use synonyms
 is the highest, at 5000$. Most
money
Use synonyms
 is spent on
Accommodation
Use synonyms
 at 45%,
while
Linking Words
 books spend the least. Food and Leisure show completely the same results at 22%. In
country
Use synonyms
 B,
similarly
Linking Words
, to
Country
Use synonyms
 A
students
Use synonyms
 paid a big amount of
money
Use synonyms
 for
Accommodation
Use synonyms
 at 35%. Other categories showed 5%. Food and leisure showed quite similar prices at 28% and 23% respectively. In
country
Use synonyms
 C
while
Linking Words
 other groups treatments are lowest at 1%,
while
Linking Words
 Food takes a big part of the budget at 36%.
In contrast
Linking Words
, countries residents spend their
money
Use synonyms
 on
Accommodation
Use synonyms
 at 30%. Regarding Books and Leisure, the expenditures in these categories were 21% and 12% respectively.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words students, country, accommodation, money with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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