Some people think that the best way to reduce the time spent in travelling to work is to replace parks and gardens close to the city center with apartment buildings for commuters, but others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
There is a more persuasive argument that the
parks
and gardens should be situated in
close to the urban areas, Change preposition
apply
while
some people assert that replacing it
with residential buildings for commuters has beneficial effects in reducing commute time.
In modern society, supporters of scarifying green spaces argue that Correct pronoun usage
them
this
approach can significantly reduce commuting time for workers. By providing houses closer to the city centre, employees could have shorter travel distances, resulting in less time spent on travel and public transport. This
could lead to increased productivity and reduced stress, helping in maintaining a healthy work-life balance. Additionally
, utilizing land occupied by parks
and gardens can develop more residential apartments which can alleviate the housing shortage, making accommodation more accessible and affordable for city dwellers.
On the other hand
, people who oppose this
way of solution insist that public parks
are vital for urban life, providing residents with access to green spaces and fresh air. Replacing those areas with residential buildings will have a negative impact on the environment and the quality of life for those living in business suburbs. For instance
, deforestation, which involves the removal of trees, is one of the major contributors to global warming. Therefore
, protecting existing plants and planting new trees are important strategies for mitigating the effects of climate change.
In conclusion, even though increasing productivity is a positive perspective, I think there should be some other alternative methods to improve it rather than causing additional damage by destroying parks
and gardens. Thus
, it is more
essential to consider the long-term consequences for communities with maintaining green areas.Correct quantifier usage
apply
Submitted by kopopig on
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task achievement
The essay presents both views clearly but needs more elaboration on each side with specific examples or studies to strengthen the argument.
task achievement
Ensure to maintain a balanced and detailed discussion for both perspectives.
coherence cohesion
There is a need to improve the use of cohesive devices and linking words in some parts to ensure smooth progression of ideas.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
Both views are discussed effectively, showing understanding of the topic.
task achievement
The language used is formal and appropriate for academic writing.
Your opinion
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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?