Some people think that the best way to reduce the time spent in travelling to work is to replace parks and gardens close to the city center with apartment buildings for commuters, but others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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There is a more persuasive argument that the

parks

Use synonyms

and gardens should be situated

Change preposition

apply

show examples

close to the urban areas,

while

Linking Words

some people assert that replacing

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

with residential buildings for commuters has beneficial effects in reducing commute time. In modern society, supporters of scarifying green spaces argue that

this

Linking Words

approach can significantly reduce commuting time for workers. By providing houses closer to the city centre, employees could have shorter travel distances, resulting in less time spent on travel and public transport.

This

Linking Words

could lead to increased productivity and reduced stress, helping in maintaining a healthy work-life balance.

Additionally

Linking Words

, utilizing land occupied by

parks

Use synonyms

and gardens can develop more residential apartments which can alleviate the housing shortage, making accommodation more accessible and affordable for city dwellers.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, people who oppose

this

Linking Words

way of solution insist that public

parks

Use synonyms

are vital for urban life, providing residents with access to green spaces and fresh air. Replacing those areas with residential buildings will have a negative impact on the environment and the quality of life for those living in business suburbs.

For instance

Linking Words

, deforestation, which involves the removal of trees, is one of the major contributors to global warming.

Therefore

Linking Words

, protecting existing plants and planting new trees are important strategies for mitigating the effects of climate change. In conclusion, even though increasing productivity is a positive perspective, I think there should be some other alternative methods to improve it rather than causing additional damage by destroying

parks

Use synonyms

and gardens.

Thus

Linking Words

, it is

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

essential to consider the long-term consequences for communities with maintaining green areas.

kopopigThu May 30 2024

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task achievement

The essay presents both views clearly but needs more elaboration on each side with specific examples or studies to strengthen the argument.

task achievement

Ensure to maintain a balanced and detailed discussion for both perspectives.

coherence cohesion

There is a need to improve the use of cohesive devices and linking words in some parts to ensure smooth progression of ideas.

coherence cohesion

The essay is well-structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

task achievement

Both views are discussed effectively, showing understanding of the topic.

task achievement

The language used is formal and appropriate for academic writing.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

265 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

commuters
urban areas
housing availability
alleviating housing crises
public transport
traffic congestion
environmental health
biodiversity
recreational
mental health benefits
urban heat islands
green lungs
community interaction
cohesion
innovative urban planning
multi-use buildings

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Some people think that the best way to reduce the time spent in travelling to work is to replace parks and gardens close to the city center with apartment buildings for commuters, but others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Your opinion

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Some people think that we should replace old buildings and houses in cities with more modern buildings. Other people think we should protect old buildings. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.