Some people think that the best way to reduce the time spent in travelling to work is to replace parks and gardens close to the city center with apartment buildings for commuters, but others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
There is a more persuasive argument that the
parks
and gardens should be situated Use synonyms
in
close to the urban areas, Change preposition
apply
while
some people assert that replacing Linking Words
it
with residential buildings for commuters has beneficial effects in reducing commute time.
In modern society, supporters of scarifying green spaces argue that Correct pronoun usage
them
this
approach can significantly reduce commuting time for workers. By providing houses closer to the city centre, employees could have shorter travel distances, resulting in less time spent on travel and public transport. Linking Words
This
could lead to increased productivity and reduced stress, helping in maintaining a healthy work-life balance. Linking Words
Additionally
, utilizing land occupied by Linking Words
parks
and gardens can develop more residential apartments which can alleviate the housing shortage, making accommodation more accessible and affordable for city dwellers.
Use synonyms
On the other hand
, people who oppose Linking Words
this
way of solution insist that public Linking Words
parks
are vital for urban life, providing residents with access to green spaces and fresh air. Replacing those areas with residential buildings will have a negative impact on the environment and the quality of life for those living in business suburbs. Use synonyms
For instance
, deforestation, which involves the removal of trees, is one of the major contributors to global warming. Linking Words
Therefore
, protecting existing plants and planting new trees are important strategies for mitigating the effects of climate change.
In conclusion, even though increasing productivity is a positive perspective, I think there should be some other alternative methods to improve it rather than causing additional damage by destroying Linking Words
parks
and gardens. Use synonyms
Thus
, it is Linking Words
more
essential to consider the long-term consequences for communities with maintaining green areas.Correct quantifier usage
apply
Submitted by kopopig on
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task achievement
The essay presents both views clearly but needs more elaboration on each side with specific examples or studies to strengthen the argument.
task achievement
Ensure to maintain a balanced and detailed discussion for both perspectives.
coherence cohesion
There is a need to improve the use of cohesive devices and linking words in some parts to ensure smooth progression of ideas.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
Both views are discussed effectively, showing understanding of the topic.
task achievement
The language used is formal and appropriate for academic writing.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?