IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people think that plastic shopping bags should be banned because they contribute to land and sea pollution. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #plastic #bags #land #sea #pollution
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is believed that there should be no room for plastic utensils
due to
 their contribution to the environmental impacts. The writer strongly agrees that they not only cause
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
economic
cost
Fix the agreement mistake
costs
show examples
 but
also
 lead to health concerns. Wasting money is one one the primary cores for prohibiting
plastics
.
In other words
, there has been a problem about releasing plastic into the environment causing pollution to people's habitat. Scenarios are the government have to switch on in order to make
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 environmental protection programme which can cost an arm.
Consequently
, the country can not focus on boosting the economy,
instead
, investing in preserving the ecosystem
due to
 bad awareness from residents. Another factor that subscribes to the plastic forbidden is the worry about individuals' health. Simply put, it is obvious that
plastics
 contain Polymers, one of the most harmful
chemical
Change to a plural noun
chemicals
show examples
 to humans' fitness. If
plastics
 were emitted into marine life and the aquatics absorbed
those harmful stuff
Change the determiner
that harmful stuff
show examples
, they could enter the human food chain. Whenever people start to consume seafood contaminated with microplastics, they are more likely to ingest toxic chemicals which can lead to a potential risk of health problems. In conclusion, by banning
plastics
 from communities, individuals will avoid the preserving outlay
along with
 the prevention from strength illness.
Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Try to include specific examples to support your points. For instance, mention specific studies or incidents that demonstrate the environmental and health impacts of plastic.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical flow of your essay. Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next.
coherence cohesion
Pay close attention to your grammar and word choice. There are several minor errors that can be corrected to make your essay more polished.
task achievement
Your essay clearly presents a stance on the topic and sticks to it throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are both present, which provides a clear structure for your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: