There is no denying the fact that computers have positive impact on children. Learning from an early age is an initiative step so it is a good step to use computers, but its time should not proceed so long.This essay will discuss the benefits and drawbacks of using computers
Its
true that computers do have plus and minuses in impact on Replace the word
It's
It is
children
. However
Add a comma
However,
i
feel that Change the capitalization
I
its
not the devices we should worry about but the time given to Replace the word
it's
it is
use
them.For
instance
we live in a generation Add a comma
instance,
were
Correct your spelling
where
technology
has almost taken over everything. We use
technology
for our day-to-day activities such
as taxis, purchasing food, informations
about the news,weather reports Change the wording
information
pieces of information
ect
. Correct your spelling
etc
However
as the topic is about Correct your spelling
children
childeren
,I do have Correct your spelling
children
few
points to mention
Correct article usage
a few
Firstly
i
would like to talk Change the capitalization
I
how
beneficial and easy Change preposition
about how
technology
has become to use
. Kids have huge
Correct article usage
a huge
varities
of videos Correct your spelling
variety
that
they Correct word choice
from
could
get Wrong verb form
can
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
from
these days. During the pandemicChange preposition
apply
was when
Verb problem
,
children
were asked to have their classes online. Its
was a good and the only way to teach the Correct pronoun usage
It
children
without getting sick. But there were also
few
problems that came along the way after Correct article usage
a few
few
months.
Correct article usage
a few
For instance
majority
of the school faced similar situations as the parents had Add an article
the majority
complains
about the timings and the duration of the classes. The Replace the word
complaints
complains
Replace the word
complaints
couldnt
be ignored Correct your spelling
couldn't
due to
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
affecton
Correct your spelling
effect
children
. Straight 8 hours of class with Change preposition
on children
interval
of 15 minutes every 3 hours is not enough rest for Add an article
an interval
the interval
children
. It would cause damange
to their eyes as they are still kids.
Correct your spelling
damage
Secondly
some families now have trouble with their Add a comma
Secondly,
offsprinfs
getting too attached to the gadgets as they deny time to play outside,rather they get additional time to Correct your spelling
offsprings
offspring
use
their gadgets. What i
learned from all Change the capitalization
I
this
is that its
all about how Replace the word
it's
it is
discipline
the child was Wrong verb form
disciplined
raced
and what boundaries he/she has set. Verb problem
raised
Therefore
as much as how important the childs
role is,Change to a genitive case
child's
i
would say the parents too have important roles and responsibilities. Change the capitalization
I
Children
should also
be careful on
what they are checking on them cause some websites are not to be accessed Change preposition
about
unsuprivised
. Social platforms have Correct your spelling
unsupervised
also
been the cause of kidnaping
these days. A kid using Correct your spelling
kidnapping
technology
unsupervised could bring lots of danger to him clearly due to
the inexpierence
the child has.
In conclusion, Correct your spelling
inexperience
inexperienced
i
would say that providing Change the capitalization
I
technology
to children
has its positive benefits but has to be contolled
and supervised before it turns Correct your spelling
controlled
to
something negative. So parents or Change preposition
into
an
Correct article usage
apply
elder
have huge Fix the agreement mistake
elders
responsibilites
Correct your spelling
responsibilities
responsibility
on
how safe and secure the child is.Change preposition
for
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grammar
Improve grammatical accuracy and work on punctuation to enhance readability. This includes fixing typographical errors and spelling mistakes such as 'childeren,' 'complains,' 'affecton,' and others.
task achievement
Strengthen the central argument by clearly stating your position and consistently supporting it throughout the essay. This will improve both the task response and coherence.
task achievement
Provide additional specific examples to support your points. This would add depth to your arguments and improve task achievement.
coherence cohesion
Develop smoother transitions between paragraphs for better flow. This will help improve coherence and cohesion.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction and conclusion are present and relevant, setting a clear frame for the essay.
task achievement
You have touched on both advantages and disadvantages of children using computers which shows a balanced perspective.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a logical flow of ideas overall, which contributes to coherence.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.