Some parents give their children everything that their children ask for or allow them to whatever they want to do. Is this good for children? What could be consequences for these children when they grow up?

Some people assert that increasing the use of media devices for communication has a negative effect on the young generation's reading and writing skills. To protect the
children
's academic abilities, I believe that the Internet has to
regulate
Wrong verb form
be regulated
show examples
as soon as possible. In modern society where the Internet has developed fully, computers and smartphones have a
function
which automately corrects wrong sentences and words.
This
function
makes
children
don't need to think about sentences when they write text messages.
For example
, most students use Chat GPT which is the most famous for studying helper.
This
function
makes
children
don't need to brainstorm about
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
new ideas because Chat GPT do all of it
instead
.
On the other hand
, the massive amount of videos and games on computers and mobile phones makes
children
lose their attention on important things
such
as homework and studying hard.
According to
the research initiated by China, the young generation's average usage of Instagram and Tick Tock which make constantly a lot of data recorded for nearly 3 to 5 hours on a daily basis. In conclusion, even though the benefits of convenience from the Internet development, I believe that automatic correcting
function
and the amount of distraction from devices
make decreasing
Wrong verb form
decrease
show examples
children
's academic skills.
Submitted by kopopig on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Your essay would benefit from a stronger introduction that clearly outlines the main points you will cover. Try to provide a brief overview of the arguments you'll discuss.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that all sentences within the paragraph support this main idea. This will improve the logical structure and internal coherence of your essay.
task achievement
You need to provide more specific examples and elaborate on them to make your arguments stronger. General statements need to be backed up with concrete evidence or examples.
task achievement
Be careful with grammar and word choice. Errors in these areas can sometimes obscure your meaning or make your writing less clear.
coherence cohesion
Your essay concludes with a clear statement that summarizes your position effectively. This helps in giving closure to your arguments.
coherence cohesion
The introduction sets a clear position on the topic. This is crucial for aligning your arguments properly throughout the essay.
task achievement
You have identified two main arguments to support your point, which helps in creating a focused discussion.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • indulgence
  • overindulgence
  • leniency
  • emotional resilience
  • rejection
  • entitlement
  • realistic expectations
  • self-regulated behavior
  • egocentric
  • financial management
  • professional relationships
  • collaboratively
  • criticism
  • appreciation
  • value
  • effort
What to do next:
Look at other essays: