Many people in the music business feel that illegal music sites on the internet are a serious threat to the industry and more should be done to prevent them from operating. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

#people #music #business #sites #internet #threat #industry

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Overall

, I agree with the statement that there are so many

websites

on the internet which are not legal, and these sites impose a serious risk to the whole music industry.

Also

Add a comma

Also,

show examples

some actions must be taken in order to stop these sites from working. The first and foremost reason for my agreement is that these

websites

are created by either local

people

or hackers, and

this

is actually a breach of privacy. These

people

have no rights and permissions to operate them, but still, in order to earn money and subscribers they upload unauthentic songs and other

contents

Fix the agreement mistake

content

show examples

of actual singers.

However

this

is not legal in any

ways

Fix the agreement mistake

way

show examples

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and is a threat to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

privacy.

For example

, on

Add a comma

Youtube,

show examples

Youtube

Correct your spelling

YouTube

show examples

there are so many links and accounts created by anonymous individuals where they have uploaded videos and songs of famous musicians, which are

Wrong verb form

copyrighted

show examples

and unauthorised.

In addition

this

, these fake

websites

are not safe. It is common to see that they have attracted titles of popular songs to lure

people

, and when

people

click on these links,

there

Replace the word

their

show examples

sensitive information

get

Change the verb form

gets

show examples

hacked.

Moreover

, sometimes these

people

alternate the music and lyrics of the original song which is illegal and unacceptable.

Also

people

operating these sites are earning money after having millions of

subscibers

Correct your spelling

subscribers

on their channels. If we talk about measures to refrain

people

from

this

activity

then

the government has to take necessary steps.

For example

, the government must apply a background check for a person before they open accounts on

youtube

Correct your spelling

YouTube

show examples

or activate any illegal website. There should be a tight security check, and

also

if any individual tries to upload

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

content which does not belong to them

then

that should be prohibited. In conclusion, there are

people

who are

resposible

Correct your spelling

responsible

for operating

websites

without being legal, and

this

is imposing a serious threat to the whole music industry, but with proper government

intervention

Add a comma

intervention,

show examples

people

could be refrained from doing so.

Submitted by harleenarora620 on Thu May 30 2024

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coherence

Work on making transitions between paragraphs smoother to enhance the overall coherence of the essay.

cohesion

Use more varied sentence structures and vocabulary to elevate the writing style.

task response

Provide more specific examples and evidence to strengthen the arguments.

task response

Pay attention to minor grammatical errors and increase the precision of language to get a higher score.

content

The essay presents a clear position and directly addresses the task.

structure

All necessary components are included such as a clear introduction and conclusion.

content

The essay covers multiple aspects of the issue, showing depth in the response.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

327 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

intellectual property
piracy
copyright infringement
revenue loss
digital rights management (DRM)
streaming platforms
illegal downloads
file sharing
economic impact
ethical considerations
music royalties
legislation
consumer ethics
affordable alternatives
music industry sustainability
emerging artists
legitimate sources
pirated content
distribution platforms
technological countermeasures

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Many people in the music business feel that illegal music sites on the internet are a serious threat to the industry and more should be done to prevent them from operating. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some countries are strungling with increase in crime rates. Some berlive that having more police on the street is bestway to reduce and combat crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new m some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Some people think that physical strength is important for success in sport, while other people think that mental strength is more important. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people argue that immigrants should adopt the local culture when immigrating to a new country. An alternative view is that they can adapt to a new environment by establishing a minority community. Discuss both views and give your opinion.