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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Today many young people change their jobs or careers every few years. What do you think are the reasons for this? Do you think the advantages outweigh its disadvantages

#people #change #jobs #careers #years
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It’s common that today’s young
people
change
 their
jobs
 frequently.I think
this
 state of affairs is
due to
 two main reasons,
furthermore
Add a comma
furthermore,
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 I think the state has its own advantages and disadvantages,
however
, the former is greater than the latter. I think there are two reasons.
First,
the current cost of living is very high.It causes many young
people
 cannot use their current wages to maintain their daily expenses. In order to survive, they have to find a job in a
company
 with higher wages to maintain their lives.
Secondly
, the development of network technology now allows more employees to see career information that they are interested in, which means that it is easier for them to find workplaces they like, pursue their ideals, and choose to
change
 works. There are benefits to changing
jobs
 frequently. First of all, young
people
 can increase their salary by changing
company
Fix the agreement mistake
companies
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. Because many positions now hope to find experienced
people
, under
such
 conditions, many young
people
 with work experience can propose conditions for increasing their wages,
thus
 increasing their income.
Although
 there are two advantages to changing
jobs
 every few years, there are still disadvantages.
For example
, it will cause losses to the firm . The
company
 needs to invest money to train new staff . If
people
change
jobs
 quickly, the
company
 will need to invest in training costs for employees again and again.
In addition
,
people
 who
change
jobs
 as soon as possible will lose trust . Because they often alter companies and do not have stable and long-term
jobs
 in the same
company
, subsequent companies will doubt whether
people
 will
change
jobs
 quickly,they will not hire
people
 who often
change
jobs
 because of
this
 fear. In conclusion, I think the reason why graduates regularly replace
task
Fix the agreement mistake
tasks
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 and positions is related to salary and information on the Internet. But in the long run,
such
 frequent job changes will cause great damage to the trust of
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
 population and the group. So I think the disadvantages outweigh the benefits
Submitted by luohongqianwen on

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task achievement
Your essay generally provides a clear and relevant response to the prompt. However, it would benefit from further development of some ideas and more depth in supporting examples.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph follows a clear and logical structure. While your points are mainly well-organized, occasionally transitioning between ideas could be smoother.
task achievement
Consider adding more specific examples to strengthen your argument. For example, you could mention specific industries or scenarios where job changing is particularly common.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and a well-defined conclusion, which provide a solid framework for your essay.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the task prompt effectively, covering both reasons and advantages/disadvantages of the given issue.
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