Many university graduates cannot find a job in their chosen profession What factors may have caused this situation and what, in your opinion, should be done about it? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience
Most
students
cannot apply to
Change preposition
for
job
in their own profession after Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
graduate
university. In my opinion, the root of Replace the word
graduating from
this
problem caused by higher
Correct article usage
the higher
education
system does not give
some practical experience and modernization of Verb problem
have
this
should be a good solution.
Traditional university education
does not prepare students
for their first job for a number of reasons. One of them is that many programmes
are too theorical
. It means that highly educated graduates lack Correct your spelling
theoretical
simple
skills required for employment. Correct article usage
the simple
For example
, in IT
sphere employers prefer candidates with Correct article usage
the IT
hand-on
experience as a junior worker. Another reason is that Correct your spelling
hands-on
universities
offer too many courses in popular fields of study, such
as business and law, and do not recruit enought
Correct your spelling
enough
students
for engineering and science programmes
. For instance
, the UK labour market has an oversupply of law graduates and a deficit of engineers.
A reform of higher education
could prevent many of the problems. Moreover
, it will give
good effects if Verb problem
have
Correct article usage
the university
university
and Fix the agreement mistake
universities
government
Correct article usage
the government
decided
Wrong verb form
decide
work
together. When Fix the infinitive
to work
universities
worked closer with employers, they could teach students
practical skills that companies look for. Meanwhile, the government could develop guidelines on how many students
universities
should recruit in each subject accordance
with the market demand. Change preposition
in accordance
For example
, recent research concluded that demand and supple
for engineers and IT workers will increase Correct your spelling
supply
to
50 % next 10 years.
In conclusion, most graduate Change preposition
by
students
cannot apply to junior position
in their own profession caused by many reasons. The higher Fix the agreement mistake
positions
education
programmes
are too theorical
and the number of Correct your spelling
theoretical
students
, which
graduateFix the agreement mistake
who
a
humanitarian profession Change preposition
from a
more
than technical graduates. The Add a missing verb
is more
universities
and the government could improve the situation by updating the content of programmes
and managing the number of students
in each subject in order with the market demand.Submitted by janmuldayevaa1 on
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grammar
Ensure that your sentences are grammatically correct and convey the intended meaning. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and correct usage of prepositions. For example, instead of 'does not give some practical experience,' you could say 'does not provide sufficient practical experience.'
clarity
Introduce and explain each of the reasons and solutions more clearly. This helps the reader follow your argument more easily. You can use phrases like 'Firstly,' 'Secondly,' and 'Lastly' to introduce new points.
elaboration
Provide more specific, diverse examples to strongly support your points. For instance, offering an example from another field like healthcare could show the widespread issue of disconnect between education and job markets.
task response
Your essay addresses the task effectively by discussing the reasons why graduates struggle to find jobs in their fields and suggesting solutions.
cohesion
The structure of your essay is clear with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Your ideas flow logically from one to the next.
support
You’ve made a good effort to provide relevant examples to support your points, such as the oversupply of law graduates and deficit of engineers in the UK.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite