Many university graduates cannot find a job in their chosen profession What factors may have caused this situation and what, in your opinion, should be done about it? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

Most
students
cannot apply
to
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for
show examples
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
in their own profession after
graduate
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graduating from
show examples
university. In my opinion, the root of
this
problem caused by
higher
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the higher
show examples
education
system does not
give
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have
show examples
some practical experience and modernization of
this
should be a good solution. Traditional university
education
does not prepare
students
for their first job for a number of reasons. One of them is that many
programmes
are too
theorical
Correct your spelling
theoretical
. It means that highly educated graduates lack
simple
Correct article usage
the simple
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skills required for employment.
For example
, in
IT
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the IT
show examples
sphere employers prefer candidates with
hand-on
Correct your spelling
hands-on
show examples
experience as a junior worker. Another reason is that
universities
offer too many courses in popular fields of study,
such
as business and law, and do not recruit
enought
Correct your spelling
enough
students
for engineering and science
programmes
.
For instance
, the UK labour market has an oversupply of law graduates and a deficit of engineers. A reform of higher
education
could prevent many of the problems.
Moreover
, it will
give
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have
show examples
good effects if
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the university
show examples
university
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universities
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and
government
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the government
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decided
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decide
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work
Fix the infinitive
to work
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together. When
universities
worked closer with employers, they could teach
students
practical skills that companies look for. Meanwhile, the government could develop guidelines on how many
students
universities
should recruit in each subject
accordance
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in accordance
show examples
with the market demand.
For example
, recent research concluded that demand and
supple
Correct your spelling
supply
show examples
for engineers and IT workers will increase
to
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by
show examples
50 % next 10 years. In conclusion, most graduate
students
cannot apply to junior
position
Fix the agreement mistake
positions
show examples
in their own profession caused by many reasons. The higher
education
programmes
are too
theorical
Correct your spelling
theoretical
and the number of
students
,
which
Fix the agreement mistake
who
show examples
graduate
a
Change preposition
from a
show examples
humanitarian profession
more
Add a missing verb
is more
show examples
than technical graduates. The
universities
and the government could improve the situation by updating the content of
programmes
and managing the number of
students
in each subject in order with the market demand.
Submitted by janmuldayevaa1 on

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grammar
Ensure that your sentences are grammatically correct and convey the intended meaning. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and correct usage of prepositions. For example, instead of 'does not give some practical experience,' you could say 'does not provide sufficient practical experience.'
clarity
Introduce and explain each of the reasons and solutions more clearly. This helps the reader follow your argument more easily. You can use phrases like 'Firstly,' 'Secondly,' and 'Lastly' to introduce new points.
elaboration
Provide more specific, diverse examples to strongly support your points. For instance, offering an example from another field like healthcare could show the widespread issue of disconnect between education and job markets.
task response
Your essay addresses the task effectively by discussing the reasons why graduates struggle to find jobs in their fields and suggesting solutions.
cohesion
The structure of your essay is clear with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Your ideas flow logically from one to the next.
support
You’ve made a good effort to provide relevant examples to support your points, such as the oversupply of law graduates and deficit of engineers in the UK.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • graduate job placement
  • current job market trends
  • practical experience
  • job openings
  • employment prospects
  • geographical barriers
  • automation and technological advances
  • economic conditions
  • mismatch between education and job market demands
  • over-saturation
  • theoretical knowledge
  • competitive job market
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