In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for government. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?

In numerous countries, the average lifespan of individuals has significantly increased in recent times. Many people argue that
ageing
Correct article usage
the ageing
show examples
population
creates challenges for the
government
,
while
others believe that society may get
benefits
if there is an ageing
population
in the community.
This
essay will argue that
drawbacks
Correct article usage
the drawbacks
show examples
outweigh the
benefits
. The main disadvantage of older people is that they may enhance the costs of medical care. The reason is that elderly groups tend to require more medical care and support
service
Fix the agreement mistake
services
show examples
like nursing, which can lead to higher healthcare costs for individuals and the
government
.
Secondly
, an ageing
population
might create pressure on economic growth. For
Add an article
an instant
show examples
instant
Replace the word
instance
show examples
, when people
are coming
Wrong verb form
get
show examples
older and
getting
Verb problem
apply
show examples
retire,
Add an article
the labor
show examples
labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
market will hire another amount of young employees but they
could not
Wrong verb form
cannot
show examples
meet enough.
This
thing can lead to
underdevelopment
Correct article usage
the underdevelopment
show examples
of factories
in particular
and the economy in general.
Moreover
, if the
government
does not have timely
population
adjustment policies, it may lead to a
population
shortage in the future.
On the other hand
, older groups can
also
have different
benefits
like spreading their experience in
working
Correct article usage
the working
show examples
field
as well as
society
Change preposition
in society
show examples
. Increasing healthcare costs and the economic downturn that the elderly
population
poses for both authorities and each
individuals
Change to a singular noun
individual
show examples
clearly exceed the argument that
this
community might be beneficial for society.
Last
but not least, each aspect will have its own
benefits
and drawbacks,
this
Correct word choice
and this
show examples
issue is no exception. To me, to
handling
Wrong verb form
handle
show examples
among younger and older groups, the
government
should pay more attention and release suitable policies to somewhat limit the rapid ageing of the
population
.
Submitted by chauhongngoc.577 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
To improve coherence, make sure your ideas flow more logically. Using clear topic sentences can help readers follow your argument more easily.
task achievement
Remember to provide relevant and specific examples to support your points more effectively. This makes your arguments stronger and more persuasive.
task achievement
Try to avoid repeating points and ensure you address both the advantages and disadvantages comprehensively. This fulfills the task requirement better.
task achievement
Your essay addresses both sides of the argument which shows a balanced approach to the question.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are both present, which gives your essay a clear sense of structure.
task achievement
You raise some pertinent points about the challenges of an ageing population, such as increased healthcare costs and economic pressure.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Ageing population
  • Pension systems
  • Healthcare demand
  • Workforce demographics
  • Life expectancy
  • Economic productivity
  • Intergenerational relationships
  • Cultural heritage
  • Social services
  • Government spending
  • Skills gap
  • Public services
  • Cultural enrichment
  • Seniority advantage
  • Elder care
  • Demographic shift
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!