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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table below gives information about rail transport in four countries in 2007. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main deatures, and make comparisions where relevant. Write atleast 150 words.

The table below gives information about rail transport in four countries in 2007. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main deatures, and make comparisions where relevant. Write atleast 150 words.
#information #rail #transport #four #countries #summarise #deatures #comparisions #atleast
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The table illustrates data about
train
Fix the agreement mistake
trains
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 as a means of
transportaion
Correct your spelling
transportation
 in four nations, namely Malaysia,
Canada
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,
China
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 and the UAE, in the given period of 2007.
Overall
Linking Words
,
China
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 had the highest number of
people
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 using rail transport and passenger
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kilometers
Change the spelling
kilometres
show examples
 per individual.
While
Linking Words
,
Canada
Use synonyms
 train transport was the least
regadring
Correct your spelling
regarding
 attendees, but surprisingly the highest quantity of
cargo
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 amongst the other countries.
To begin
Linking Words
,
China
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 had 27
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 partaking
its
Change preposition
in its
show examples
 rail system in 2007,
whish
Correct your spelling
which
show examples
 was the highest regarding
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
the number of
people
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used
Change the form of the verb
using
show examples
 trains.
While
Linking Words
 Malaysia had 5.9
millions
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million
show examples
 and the UAE had 5.5
millions
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million
show examples
 respectively.
Canada
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,
on the other hand
Linking Words
, had the least amount of
people
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prefering
Correct your spelling
preferring
 rail transport, with just 300
thousands
Change to singular
thousand
show examples
 in 2007.
Also
Linking Words
,
China
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 had the most prominent number of passengers
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Change preposition
in kilometers
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kilometers
Change the spelling
kilometres
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 per individual which was 1980
kilomerters
Correct your spelling
kilometres
.
Besides
Linking Words
, their carried
cargo
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weighted
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weighed
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 about 23.01
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billions
Fix the agreement mistake
billion
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
tons
Use synonyms
.
Next,
Linking Words
the UAE and Malaysia had minor differences regarding passenger
kilometers
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 and their carried
cargo
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 weight, which were 780 and 770 per head of population with 21.9
Use synonyms
billions
Change to singular
billion
show examples
tons
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 and 22.2
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billions
Change to singular
billion
show examples
tons
Use synonyms
, respectively. Ultimately,
Canada
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 witnessed the least accounted
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kilometers
Change the spelling
kilometres
show examples
 per individual, which was only 80
kilomerters
Correct your spelling
kilometres
.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, surpassed in regards
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 carried
cargo
Use synonyms
 weight with 23.01
Use synonyms
billions
Fix the agreement mistake
billion
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
tons
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by besoyam on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words canada, china, people, kilometers, cargo, billions, tons with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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