Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree of disagree with this opinion?
Some individuals argue that
music
is a good method for people
to have a conversation with many people
from different cultures and ages. In this
essay
opinion, it is a good way to communicate by using Change noun form
essay's
music
.
It is easy to understand that music
might be crucial to uniting the whole people
of the world is providing another language. To explain, Music
does not need interpretation to be enjoyed and understood as it touches our hearts in our minds. No matter what language we speak or understand, we appreciate the melody and depth of music
which is why people
of all ages can sit together and enjoy the same music
. For instance
, some viral music
in foreign languages in our country signifies how it speaks our minds and hearts rather than just a human language.
Moreover
, due to
the fact that music
has the power to promote cross-cultural understanding. Through exposure to different musical genres and traditions, people
can gain a deeper appreciation for other cultures and ways of life. For example
, Vietnam and USA
used to be competitors in the past, Correct article usage
the USA
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
leads
to Wrong verb form
led
the
hostile Correct article usage
apply
feeling
betweenFix the agreement mistake
feelings
2
countries, Correct article usage
the 2
however
because of
many famous singers created many songs that contributed to the relationship, Vietnam and Change preposition
apply
USA
nowadays are friendly, Correct article usage
the USA
Correct word choice
and helps
helps
each other many works for enhancing the economy. Correct subject-verb agreement
help
As a result
, people
of
many countries can connect and understand others' Change preposition
from
life
by listening to Fix the agreement mistake
lives
music
.
In conclusion, although
some people
disagree this
statement, it is beneficial for Change preposition
with this
people
to have a friendly relationship with foreigners with the reasons of giving more knowledge of other languages and understanding more cultures.Submitted by [email protected] on
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introduction conclusion present
Your introduction presents the topic and your opinion clearly, but it could be slightly more engaging to grab the reader's attention right away. You could include a more specific thesis statement outlining the main points that you are going to discuss in the essay.
relevant specific examples
Some of your points are supported well, but try to provide more detailed and relevant examples to strengthen your arguments. Adding more specific and varied examples will make your essay more convincing and compelling.
logical structure
Your essay has a logical structure, though some transitions between paragraphs and ideas could be smoother. Make sure that each point naturally flows into the next and that you use varied cohesive devices.
logical structure
You've made good use of paragraphs to break down your points, which helps in organizing your essay and making it easier to read.
complete response
You have managed to provide a complete response to the essay question. Your main points are clear and you have stayed on topic throughout your essay.
introduction conclusion present
Your conclusion nicely sums up the main points of your essay and reiterates your viewpoint. It effectively wraps up your discussion and leaves a lasting impression.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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