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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people think that keeping pets is good for children while others think it is dangerous and unhealthy. Which opinion do you agree with? Discuss both options and give examples

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Nowadays, we hardly find any house without at least a single pet as it has become an important member of families.
While
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 some people believe that animals are good for
children
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 because of their companionship, others are of the opinion that these are harmful
due to
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 safety reasons. In my opinion, even though there are negative sides to keeping
pets
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 at house, it is always advantageous to have
pets
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 at home. Animals
such
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 as dogs, cats, birds, etc. are usually liked and loved by little ones since their early childhood days.
This
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 is because these lovable beings create an amicable atmosphere with young boys and girls which results in an unbreakable bond and friendship.
Moreover
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,
children
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 consider
pets
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 as their soul mates to indulge in various activities
such
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 as playing, daily exercises and even eating.
For instance
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, a recent study in Australia reveals that toddlers who grew up with
pets
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 are compassionate and friendly compared to others of similar age.
Therefore
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, considering all these aspects, domestic animals at our shelters are beneficial for
children
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 to grow up in a healthy environment.
On the contrary
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, there are several scenarios where
pets
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 cause harm to
children
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 owing to unsafe conditions.
For example
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, the small hairs of dogs or cats can be hazardous if little girls or boys inadvertently breathe or swallow.
In addition
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, these innocent living beings may become dangerous when they are affected by sickness or spreading diseases
such
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 as rabies resulting in unexpected attacks towards
children
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.
Hence
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, bringing up
pets
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 at residences can be unhealthy and harmful in case of odd circumstances
To conclude
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,
pets
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 are the most respectful and lovable mates in
this
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 world.
Although
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 they can be threatening at times
due to
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 their body structure or illness, they form a good companion to
children
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 of all ages. In my viewpoint,
in contrast
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 to its detrimental effects, it is advisable to keep
pets
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 at our place of residence so that all members of the family can enjoy their presence and love.

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coherence cohesion
To further improve your essay, consider enhancing the logical flow between ideas by using more varied transitional phrases. For example, you can use phrases like 'On the other hand,' or 'Furthermore,' to better connect sentences and paragraphs.
task achievement
Make sure to address potential counterarguments more comprehensively to strengthen your position. For instance, you could discuss specific ways to mitigate the risks associated with keeping pets, such as regular veterinary check-ups or proper hygiene practices.
introduction conclusion present
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the discussion on both opinions regarding children and pets.
supported main points
The main points are well-supported with relevant examples and logical explanations, such as the study from Australia highlighting the positive effects of pets on children's development.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • companion
  • responsibility
  • care
  • empathy
  • compassion
  • social skills
  • transmit
  • diseases
  • allergies
  • safety risks
  • time
  • effort
  • money
  • mature
  • handle
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