IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

You and your friend are moving to another country for work, and you are looking to buy a house together.Write a letter to a property agent, iN your letter Introduce yourself your friend Describe the type of accommodation that you hope to find Give your preference for the location of the accommodation

#friend #country #work #house #property #agent #type #accommodation #hope #location
Dear Sir, I am writing
this
 letter in
regards
Fix the agreement mistake
regard
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 to
search
Correct pronoun usage
my search
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 for
freehold
Correct article usage
a freehold
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 home to acquire in the coming month
by
Change preposition
apply
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me
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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and
Correct word choice
apply
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my friend. We both are migrating to
calgary
Change the capitalization
Calgary
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, as we got a job in the Microsoft headquarters placed in the downtown area.
Firstly
, my name is Karam and my
partner
Change noun form
partner's
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 name is Peter and we are 26 years old. We both have
well earned
Add a hyphen
well-earned
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 annual income of $150,000. Peter belongs to
Correct article usage
the christian
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christian
Change the capitalization
Christian
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 community and I belong to Sikh culture.
Secondly
, both of us need a
place
 which has
atleast
Correct your spelling
at least
 3 rooms with at 2 bathrooms. The construction should be modern,
which
Correct word choice
and
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includes
Correct subject-verb agreement
include
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 all the latest facilities
such
 as wardrobes in each room, and
dishwasher
Correct article usage
a dishwasher
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 in the kitchen.
Moreover
, the
place
 has to be near the downtown area, so it would
saves
Wrong verb form
save
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our
Correct pronoun usage
us
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 time in commuting from work to home.
Apart from
this
, the
place
 has to be near to
playground
Correct article usage
the playground
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 as I am fond of spending my evening routine
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
practicing
Change the spelling
practising
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 soccer. At
last
, could you please find a
place
 as soon as possible
as
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
we are moving to
Calgay
Correct your spelling
Calgary
 by the end of next month, so we need to finalize the
place
 before we move in
.
Change the punctuation
?
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 I will wait for your prompt reply. Yours faithfully, Kamm
Submitted by krmdhillon26 on

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logical structure
Increase the logical structuring by clearly segregating different points into separate paragraphs; for instance, introduction, description of accommodations, and preferred location should be distinctly presented.
complete response
Make sure to proofread the letter for minor errors like 'Calgary' instead of ‘Calgay’ and rephrase some sentences for better clarity and grammar.
suitable writing tone
The letter appropriately addresses all the parts of the task, but be mindful of clarity in presenting each point. This can be managed by breaking down longer sentences and being concise.
single idea per paragraph
Consider using word choices that better fit a formal letter, removing any redundancy in explanations, and ensuring smooth transitions from one point to another.
complete response
The letter begins with a clear introduction of yourself and your friend, fulfilling the request of the task.
greeting and closing
The closing part with a request for a prompt reply and deadline adds a professional touch.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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