Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
It is argued that the best response to a poor condition,
such
as an unfulfilling job
or lack of money, is to accept it. While
others believe we can improve from worse to better situations by trying any chance. In my opinion, humans have destinies, but it does not mean we cannot do something to improve our lives.
Firstly
, from the point of view of faith, it is called gratitude and acceptance of fate. Whatever our condition, some people think it is the best way that we have to live with. If we focus too much on money or a job
that suits our desires, it may result in the sacrifice of many things and potentially affect something negatively.
On the other hand
, the good way for us to do as humans is to improve such
situations. Humans need to develop themselves to get a better life. Moreover
, the world changes and time flies so fast, so we need to adapt to everything. For instance
, in the digital era, many job
requirements are looking for STEM talent or a minimum level of adaptability to technology. If we do not learn or develop our skills, it will affect us when we look for a job
or desire to get a promotion.
In conclusion, people who prefer to stay in their comfort zone easily accept any situation, even though it may be bad for their lives. However
, developing skills to change one's life is needed and more essential, so we can survive and easily face any challenges.Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on
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task achievement
Your essay addresses both views and provides a clear opinion, which is great. To further improve, try to incorporate more specific examples or real-life situations to support your points. This would enhance the depth of your argument and make your essay more compelling.
task achievement
While your response is complete, enhancing the clarity of your ideas would improve your score. For instance, be explicit about how gratitude and acceptance of fate may also lead to personal growth or contentment.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which is good. However, the transition between paragraphs can be smoother. For instance, use more linking words and phrases (e.g., 'Furthermore,' 'In addition,' 'On the contrary') to improve flow.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure is sound, but further developing main points and ensuring each paragraph has a central idea would strengthen your essay. Each paragraph should ideally start with a clear topic sentence that outlines the main idea.
task achievement
You have successfully discussed both views and provided your own opinion, which aligns with the task requirements.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear and logical structure with an introduction and a conclusion, making it easy to follow.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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