IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Some people think that the modern communication technology is having a negative effect on social relationtips. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #communication #technology #effect #relationtips
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Whether or not,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
communication in modern
technology
 is having a negative
impact
 on social
relationships
.
This
 writer argues that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technology
is
Verb problem
does
show examples
 not
applying
Verb problem
have
show examples
 a bad
impact
 on
relationships
 in society. It is vital to understand that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
modern
technology
 can help users
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
contact
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
other
people
easier
Rephrase
more easily
show examples
.
For
Change preposition
To
show examples
 explain
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
we can
use
 social media to get in touch with
people
live
Correct pronoun usage
who live
show examples
 far away
our
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
or make new friends. For
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
example, there are a lot of social media that can help
user
Fix the agreement mistake
users
show examples
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
contact
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
other
people
such
 as Facebook, Instagram,
TikTok
Correct word choice
and TikTok
show examples
,…
Therefore
, the
technology
 is not having
bad
Add an article
a bad
show examples
 effect.
However
, some suggest that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
modern
technology
 is
applying
Verb problem
having
show examples
bad
Correct article usage
a bad
show examples
impact
 on
relationships
 in real life. The main reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
 problem is that the
relationships
 on social media
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 visual and if the users spend a lot of time
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
technology
, it will
impact
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
communication in real life.
This
 opinion is true in some conditions but for me, it
also
depend
Change the verb form
depends
show examples
 on how we
use
 the
technology
. If we know how to
use
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technology
 well, we can make new friends with a lot of
people
 and improve the social relationship. In conclusion, it
also
depend
Change the verb form
depends
show examples
 on how we
use
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
modern
technology
.
Therefore
, we need to know how to
use
 the
technology
 exactly.
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coherence cohesion
Work on creating a clearer structure for your essay. Each paragraph should have a distinct main idea that is well-supported with examples or evidence.
task achievement
Expand your examples and explanations. Provide more specific illustrations to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that there is a more detailed introduction that outlines what the essay will cover and a stronger conclusion that summarizes the arguments made.
coherence cohesion
Be careful with grammar and syntax. Ensure that your sentences are clear and error-free to convey your ideas effectively.
task achievement
Try to delve deeper into both sides of the argument and provide a balanced view before concluding with your stance.
task achievement
The essay addresses the topic at hand and attempts to provide a balanced view.
coherence cohesion
There is a clear effort to discuss both the positive and negative impacts of modern technology on social relationships.
task achievement
The essay makes use of various social media platforms as examples, which is relevant and helps to contextualize the argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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