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Writing Samples
Band 4

Modern lifestyles are completely different from the way people lived in the past. Some people think the changes have been postitive, while others believe they have been negative. Discuss both these points of view and give your opinion.

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Introduction
Some
people
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 argue with
this
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problem
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 that can compare to high
style
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 than
people
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 old before
modern
Add an article
the modern
show examples
era
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.
This
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 essay will discuss
about
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
the positive
impact
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 and
negatif
Correct your spelling
negative
impact
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.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, some
people
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 think the positive
impact
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with
Change preposition
of
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 modern lifestyles or
Use synonyms
hight
Correct your spelling
high
show examples
style
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for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 good looking it is can make
people
Use synonyms
 essay to find a job, as we know in our country there is some term to hiring other employment.
therefore
Linking Words
 high
lifestyle
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always
Add a missing verb
is always
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 identic with good
looking
Replace the word
looks
show examples
 because in
this
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 modern
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era
Add a comma
era,
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 young
people
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 choose
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Correct article usage
a hight
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hight
Correct your spelling
high
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lifestyle
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is
Correct pronoun usage
that is
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some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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proud
with
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of
show examples
 them. Along
develop
Change the verb form
developing
show examples
modern
Correct article usage
the modern
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era
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 internet
Add a missing verb
has change
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change
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changed
show examples
life
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 very
significan
Correct your spelling
significantly
.
The
Correct article usage
People
show examples
people
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 must know about
Use synonyms
Add an article
the problem
a problem
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problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
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 in
this
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era
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 and
don't
Verb problem
not
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 do more
way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
show examples
 to
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life
Replace the word
live
show examples
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
a hight
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hight
Correct your spelling
high
show examples
lifestyle
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 and
people
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 must be selective for search new friends. because new friends can influence the
lifestyle
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.
Body paragraph 2
In
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On
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Correct article usage
the other
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other hand
Change the wording
another hand
other hands
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,
modern
Correct article usage
the modern
show examples
lifestyle
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 has
negative
Correct article usage
a negative
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impect
Correct your spelling
effect
,
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Correct article usage
a hight
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hight
Correct your spelling
high
show examples
lifestyle
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 can make
people
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 with
this
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 view.
The
Correct article usage
People
show examples
people
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 think always about the
style
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 without
think
Change the verb form
thinking
show examples
 about how to work. High
style
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make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
 other
people
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broke
Wrong verb form
break
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 for
they
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 future. It is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
problem
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 for young
man
Fix the agreement mistake
men
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 and
parent
Fix the agreement mistake
parents
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 to keep
Add an article
the child
a child
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child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
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for being
Change preposition
to be
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good
Add an article
a good
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man
Fix the agreement mistake
men
show examples
.
lifestyle
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 in
this
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 modern
era
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make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
 other
people
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 lazy to work.
Conclusion
In conclusion modern
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life
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
style
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have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 many
impact
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 for positive and
negatif
Correct your spelling
negative
Use synonyms
impact
Fix the agreement mistake
impacts
show examples
,
depends
Wrong verb form
depending
show examples
 form which side
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
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we look at. I think when
people
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 can balance
the
Change the word
their
show examples
lifestyle
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than
Change preposition
with
show examples
 work it's not
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problem
Add an article
a problem
the problem
show examples
. I suggest
with
Change preposition
that
show examples
 both the
peole
Correct your spelling
people
 always
selective
Add a missing verb
be selective
show examples
 and
evalution
Correct your spelling
evaluation
everytime
Replace the word
every time
show examples
 with
they
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
Use synonyms
life
Replace the word
live
show examples
.

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coherence cohesion
Your essay would benefit from more clearly defined paragraphs, with each paragraph focusing on a specific point or argument.
coherence cohesion
Avoid repetition of words like 'high lifestyle' and try to use varied vocabulary to make your writing more engaging.
task achievement
Ensure your introduction clearly outlines the points you will discuss and your conclusion summarizes your key points effectively.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your arguments. This will make your points more convincing and well-rounded.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving sentence structure and grammar to make your ideas clearer and easier to understand.
content
You have made a good attempt to discuss both positive and negative aspects of modern lifestyles.
structure
Your conclusion attempts to summarize the points discussed in the essay, which is good practice.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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