Modern lifestyles are completely different from the way people lived in the past. Some people think the changes have been postitive, while others believe they have been negative. Discuss both these points of view and give your opinion.

Some
people
argue with
this
problem
that can compare to high
style
than
people
old before
modern
Add an article
the modern
show examples
era
.
This
essay will discuss
about
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
the positive
impact
and
negatif
Correct your spelling
negative
impact
. On the one hand, some
people
think the positive
impact
with
Change preposition
of
show examples
modern lifestyles or
hight
Correct your spelling
high
show examples
style
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
good looking it is can make
people
essay to find a job, as we know in our country there is some term to hiring other employment.
therefore
high
lifestyle
always
Add a missing verb
is always
show examples
identic with good
looking
Replace the word
looks
show examples
because in
this
modern
era
Add a comma
era,
show examples
young
people
choose
Correct article usage
a hight
show examples
hight
Correct your spelling
high
show examples
lifestyle
is
Correct pronoun usage
that is
show examples
some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
proud
with
Change preposition
of
show examples
them. Along
develop
Change the verb form
developing
show examples
modern
Correct article usage
the modern
show examples
era
internet
Add a missing verb
has change
show examples
change
Replace the word
changed
show examples
life
very
significan
Correct your spelling
significantly
.
The
Correct article usage
People
show examples
people
must know about
Add an article
the problem
a problem
show examples
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
in
this
era
and
don't
Verb problem
not
show examples
do more
way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
show examples
to
life
Replace the word
live
show examples
Correct article usage
a hight
show examples
hight
Correct your spelling
high
show examples
lifestyle
and
people
must be selective for search new friends. because new friends can influence the
lifestyle
.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
other hand
Change the wording
another hand
other hands
show examples
,
modern
Correct article usage
the modern
show examples
lifestyle
has
negative
Correct article usage
a negative
show examples
impect
Correct your spelling
effect
,
Correct article usage
a hight
show examples
hight
Correct your spelling
high
show examples
lifestyle
can make
people
with
this
view.
The
Correct article usage
People
show examples
people
think always about the
style
without
think
Change the verb form
thinking
show examples
about how to work. High
style
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
other
people
broke
Wrong verb form
break
show examples
for
they
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
future. It is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
problem
for young
man
Fix the agreement mistake
men
show examples
and
parent
Fix the agreement mistake
parents
show examples
to keep
Add an article
the child
a child
show examples
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
show examples
for being
Change preposition
to be
show examples
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
man
Fix the agreement mistake
men
show examples
.
lifestyle
in
this
modern
era
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
other
people
lazy to work. In conclusion modern
life
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
style
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
many
impact
for positive and
negatif
Correct your spelling
negative
impact
Fix the agreement mistake
impacts
show examples
,
depends
Wrong verb form
depending
show examples
form which side
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
we look at. I think when
people
can balance
the
Change the word
their
show examples
lifestyle
than
Change preposition
with
show examples
work it's not
problem
Add an article
a problem
the problem
show examples
. I suggest
with
Change preposition
that
show examples
both the
peole
Correct your spelling
people
always
selective
Add a missing verb
be selective
show examples
and
evalution
Correct your spelling
evaluation
everytime
Replace the word
every time
show examples
with
they
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
life
Replace the word
live
show examples
.
Submitted by patricius.yohanes on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay would benefit from more clearly defined paragraphs, with each paragraph focusing on a specific point or argument.
coherence cohesion
Avoid repetition of words like 'high lifestyle' and try to use varied vocabulary to make your writing more engaging.
task achievement
Ensure your introduction clearly outlines the points you will discuss and your conclusion summarizes your key points effectively.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your arguments. This will make your points more convincing and well-rounded.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving sentence structure and grammar to make your ideas clearer and easier to understand.
content
You have made a good attempt to discuss both positive and negative aspects of modern lifestyles.
structure
Your conclusion attempts to summarize the points discussed in the essay, which is good practice.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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