Modern lifestyles are completely different from the way people lived in the past. Some people think the changes have been postitive, while others believe they have been negative. Discuss both these points of view and give your opinion.
Some
people
argue with this
problem
that can compare to high style
than people
old before modern
Add an article
the modern
era
. This
essay will discuss about
the positive Remove the preposition
apply
impact
and negatif
Correct your spelling
negative
impact
.
On the one hand, some people
think the positive impact
with
modern lifestyles or Change preposition
of
hight
Correct your spelling
high
style
for
good looking it is can make Change preposition
of
people
essay to find a job, as we know in our country there is some term to hiring other employment. therefore
high lifestyle
always
identic with good Add a missing verb
is always
looking
because in Replace the word
looks
this
modern era
young Add a comma
era,
people
choose Correct article usage
a hight
hight
Correct your spelling
high
lifestyle
is
Correct pronoun usage
that is
some
proud Correct quantifier usage
apply
with
them. Along Change preposition
of
develop
Change the verb form
developing
modern
Correct article usage
the modern
era
internet Add a missing verb
has change
change
Replace the word
changed
life
very significan
. Correct your spelling
significantly
The
Correct article usage
People
people
must know about Add an article
the problem
a problem
problem
in Fix the agreement mistake
problems
this
era
and don't
do more Verb problem
not
way
to Fix the agreement mistake
ways
life
Replace the word
live
Correct article usage
a hight
hight
Correct your spelling
high
lifestyle
and people
must be selective for search new friends. because new friends can influence the lifestyle
.
In
Change preposition
On
Correct article usage
the other
other hand
, Change the wording
another hand
other hands
modern
Correct article usage
the modern
lifestyle
has negative
Correct article usage
a negative
impect
, Correct your spelling
effect
Correct article usage
a hight
hight
Correct your spelling
high
lifestyle
can make people
with this
view. The
Correct article usage
People
people
think always about the style
without think
about how to work. High Change the verb form
thinking
style
make
other Change the verb form
makes
people
broke
for Wrong verb form
break
they
future. It is Correct pronoun usage
their
the
Correct article usage
a
problem
for young man
and Fix the agreement mistake
men
parent
to keep Fix the agreement mistake
parents
Add an article
the child
a child
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
for being
Change preposition
to be
good
Add an article
a good
man
. Fix the agreement mistake
men
lifestyle
in this
modern era
make
other Change the verb form
makes
people
lazy to work.
In conclusion modern life
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
style
have
many Correct subject-verb agreement
has
impact
for positive and negatif
Correct your spelling
negative
impact
, Fix the agreement mistake
impacts
depends
form which side Wrong verb form
depending
do
we look at. I think when Unnecessary verb
apply
people
can balance the
Change the word
their
lifestyle
than
work it's not Change preposition
with
problem
. I suggest Add an article
a problem
the problem
with
both the Change preposition
that
peole
always Correct your spelling
people
selective
and Add a missing verb
be selective
evalution
Correct your spelling
evaluation
everytime
with Replace the word
every time
they
Correct pronoun usage
their
life
.Replace the word
live
Submitted by patricius.yohanes on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
Your essay would benefit from more clearly defined paragraphs, with each paragraph focusing on a specific point or argument.
coherence cohesion
Avoid repetition of words like 'high lifestyle' and try to use varied vocabulary to make your writing more engaging.
task achievement
Ensure your introduction clearly outlines the points you will discuss and your conclusion summarizes your key points effectively.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your arguments. This will make your points more convincing and well-rounded.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving sentence structure and grammar to make your ideas clearer and easier to understand.
content
You have made a good attempt to discuss both positive and negative aspects of modern lifestyles.
structure
Your conclusion attempts to summarize the points discussed in the essay, which is good practice.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.