IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The bar chart shows information about the favorite subjects of students from two middle schools, school A and school B.

The bar chart shows information about the favorite subjects of students from two middle schools, school A and school B.
The bar chart illustrates the students' preference for the five different
subjects
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 the two middle
schools
Use synonyms
 compare each other.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 there are significant differences between the two middle
schools
Use synonyms
, even though the academic
subjects
Use synonyms
 are not famous in both
schools
Use synonyms
.
According to
Linking Words
 the data, among the academic subject which contains math, science, and literature, only literature subject is preferred in
school
Use synonyms
 B, recorded at 38%, approximately.
In contrast
Linking Words
, math and science
subjects
Use synonyms
 aren't accepted as favourite
subjects
Use synonyms
 in both
schools
Use synonyms
 which is lower than 20% . It is noteworthy that the students in
school
Use synonyms
 B tend to prefer indoor activities like drawings, but the students in
school
Use synonyms
 A tend to like outdoor activity
subjects
Use synonyms
. The sports
subjects
Use synonyms
 are mainly preferred in
school
Use synonyms
 A
while
Linking Words
 the other
subjects
Use synonyms
 are not recorded more than 20%.
This
Linking Words
 subject is recorded at 72% in
school
Use synonyms
 A which is
school
Use synonyms
 B recorded at only 10%.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words subjects, schools, school with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: