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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The bar chart shows information about the favorite subjects of students from two middle schools, school A and school B. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart shows information about the favorite subjects of students from two middle schools, school A and school B. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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Given is a bar chart illustrating the distribution of
students
Use synonyms
' subject preferences from two middle schools. The horizontal axis represents various subjects,
while
Linking Words
 the vertical axis quantifies the
number
Use synonyms
 of
students
Use synonyms
 who favour each subject. Apparently, juniors from
school
Use synonyms
 A and
school
Use synonyms
 B have diverse favourite subjects, sport enjoys the most popularity among the
students
Use synonyms
 from the former one, which is favoured by 36
students
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 25
students
Use synonyms
 report that craft and drawing are the most popular subjects in
school
Use synonyms
 B.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the least
number
Use synonyms
 of
students
Use synonyms
 in
school
Use synonyms
 A love
craft
Fix the agreement mistake
crafts
show examples
 and drawing, but it is science that attracts the least
number
Use synonyms
 of
students
Use synonyms
 in
school
Use synonyms
 B.
Besides
Linking Words
 that, there is a minimum difference in the
number
Use synonyms
 of
students
Use synonyms
 who favour social science between the two schools, which is 6 and 10 separately.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the preference for sport shows the greatest difference, which is 36 and 5
Linking Words
accordingly
Rephrase
respectively
show examples
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 82%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words students, number, school with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "difference" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • bar chart
  • comparative data
  • favorite subjects
  • middle schools
  • horizontal axis
  • vertical axis
  • quantifies
  • preference
  • initial observation
  • significantly greater interest
  • shared enthusiasm
  • favored
  • attracts more students
  • draws the highest number
  • popularity
  • outliers
  • subject preferences
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