Many people believe that watching a live performance is more enjoyable than watching the same event on television. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
One school of thought
instead
of watching the event on television
, watching a live performance is more enjoyable. The writer of this
essay strongly agrees with this
notion as not only atmosphere
and immersion but also
supporting artists
and athletes
.
The first aspect to consider is the unparalleled atmosphere
of live performances. Firstly
, attending a live performance offers a unique atmosphere
and a sense of immersion that can not be replaced by watching it on television
. Moreover
, the energy of the crowd and being in the presence of the performers or athletes
enhances the overall
experience. For example
, at football matches, most spectators want to watch in person at the stadium instead
of watching through television
which does not bring collective energy to the viewers.
Secondly
, watching a live performance also
supports artists
and athletes
. To explain further
, attending live events directly supports the artists
, athletes
, and performers financially and emotionally, showing appreciation for their work in a way that watching on TV does not. For instance
, watching live at some concerts can support the singer by creating a vibrant atmosphere
and then
artists
will have more motivation to perform.
In conclusion, I completely agree that live performances provide a superior experience to that of their televised counterparts. The unique atmosphere
and supporting artists
and athletes
of live events create a compelling and unforgettable enjoyment that television
viewing can not replicate.Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on
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task response
Your essay provides a clear stance and supports it with relevant arguments. However, ensure that each point is thoroughly developed and clearly connected to the main argument. For instance, you could elaborate more on how the atmosphere at live events is unparalleled compared to watching on TV.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs. While your essay has a good structure, making the transitions smoother will enhance readability. For example, use linking phrases such as 'In addition', 'Furthermore', and 'On the other hand' more effectively.
general
Make sure to refine your vocabulary and grammar for improved clarity. Avoid repetition and check for small errors to enhance the overall quality of the essay. For example, replace 'can not' with 'cannot' and work on using varied sentence structures.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are well-presented, clearly stating your viewpoint and summarizing the main points of your essay effectively.
task response
You have used relevant and specific examples to illustrate your points, which strengthens your arguments significantly.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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