IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

#businesses #emphasise #products #development
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Advertisements have become an inseparable part of every business these days. The market is so
competetive
Correct your spelling
competitive
 that advertising techniques are developing day by day. One of the most efficient techniques is the promise of innovation in the product
that is
 being advertised. Everything comes with a consequence and
this
 emphasis on innovation is not an exception.
Companies
 are not the only benefactors of providing what’s new,
customers
 as well take advantage of it in some ways. The first probable outcome for them would be ease
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 using
such
products
. If what
companies
 include in their ads are no whistle words
then
 the
products
are
Verb problem
have
show examples
 to
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
find something to make the same process easier and faster. The second benefit of it would be the variety that appears in
products
therefore
,
customers
 would have a wide range of
choice
Fix the agreement mistake
choices
show examples
 based on their needs. On the other side,
This
 abundance may lead to consumerism. If the
products
 don’t really meet the needs of
customers
, they will end up
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
starve
Wrong verb form
starved
show examples
for checking
Change preposition
to check
show examples
 the
latests
Correct your spelling
latest
.
More over
Correct your spelling
Moreover
show examples
,
this
 constant quest for finding the most suitable can frustrate the
customers
 and give them a pessimistic view of if not all but some
companies
 and
this
 will work as a counter advertisement. Keeping it all in mind, the promise of innovation seems to work as a cutting edge with a tendency to risk the name of
companies
.
Submitted by TUTOO on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Include more specific examples to support your points. For example, mention specific products or industries where innovation in advertising has been beneficial or detrimental.
task achievement
Work on providing a clearer and more comprehensive response to the question. Ensure that your argument addresses both parts of the question in detail.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Improve the logical flow by using linking words and phrases, and make sure each paragraph clearly supports the main argument.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction does a good job of setting the context for the discussion on innovation in advertising.
clear comprehensive ideas
The essay presents a balanced view, discussing both the positive and negative aspects of advertising innovation.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • emphasise
  • advertising
  • products
  • innovation
  • competitive strategy
  • consumer dissatisfaction
  • value
What to do next:
Look at other essays: