IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

A friend from another country is moving to your city for work. She/he has asked you for advices about living in your city. In your letter: Suggest an interesting part of the city to live in Describe the public transfortation in your city Say how your friend can meet new people in there

#friend #country #city #work #advices #part #transfortation #people
I hope
this
 letter finds you in good health. I am writing
this
 letter to inform you regarding some
Correct your spelling
recommendations
recomendations
Correct your spelling
recommendations
 for you in living in my city.
Firstly
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 am going to tell you about the place
for living
Change preposition
to live
show examples
. There are several places that have magnificent
view
Fix the agreement mistake
views
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,
environment
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environments
show examples
, and
building
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buildings
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.
However
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 would happily introduce you to my current
residance
Correct your spelling
residence
. It is Melbourn
Correct your spelling
Residence
Residance
 which is located in
highland
Correct article usage
the highland
show examples
 of Gajah Mada Street. The building looks very nice, particularly when the sun rises in the early morning.
Besides
, the environment is
also
 clean because the cleaning services are scheduled very well, so the environment is nicely clear by the
thrases
Correct your spelling
phrases
phrase
.
Also
, the view of the
montain
Correct your spelling
mountain
mountains
 and hill is really gorgeous. You can see two hills behind the
residance
Correct your spelling
residence
 and a mountain next to the hills.
Secondly
, the transportation in my
residance
Correct your spelling
residence
 is mostly dominated by bus which is costly
affordable
Correct word choice
and affordable
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 for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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people
 who want to save
their
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apply
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money. So
the
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apply
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people
 often go to
bus
Add an article
the bus
show examples
 station to wait for the bus that will take them to their workplace. Another important thing about my
residance
Correct your spelling
residence
 is the way the
people
 meet each other during the day where
people
 are often greeted by their neighbour. So, do not be surprised if the
neighbour
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neighbours
show examples
 are saying hi to you all the time you meet with them.
Finally
,
Iam
Correct your spelling
I am
 sorry for the late reply
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 your letter. Thank you for your nice concern in advance. Hopefully, you are able to consider
this
 as a good
choise
Correct your spelling
choice
 to stay in my
residance
Correct your spelling
residence
. I cannot wait to see you. Yours Sincerely Anong
Submitted by patricius.yohanes on

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coherence cohesion
Try to divide your content into clearer paragraphs, each focusing on a single main idea. For example, one paragraph could solely describe the interesting part of the city, another for public transportation, and another for ways to meet people.
task achievement
You can improve the letter by carefully proofreading the text to catch typos and language errors (e.g., 'recomendations' should be 'recommendations', 'residance' should be 'residence', 'thrases' should be 'trash').
task achievement
Your tone is friendly and helpful, which is suitable for writing to a friend.
task achievement
You provided a comprehensive response to all parts of the task, giving suggestions on where to live, describing public transportation, and explaining how to meet new people.
coherence cohesion
Your opening and closing statements create a warm and engaging impression.

The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

  • Dear + name
  • Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

  • Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
  • Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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