IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Some people want governments to spend money looking for life on other planets. Others, however, think this is a waste of public money when there are so many problems on earth. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. You should write at least 250 words.

#minutes #people #governments #money #life #planets #waste #earth
There are two diametrically opposite opinions about whether governments should invest their budgets in seeking life in outer
space
 or not
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 since it might be a waste of
money
, as there is a great number of
problems
 on
earth
.
This
 essay agrees that
money
 should be spent on solving
Correct article usage
the earth
show examples
earth
Change noun form
earth's
show examples
problems
such
 as pollution and does not agree with the opposite opinion, since the price of
such
 investigations would be prohibitively expensive. First and foremost, it has to be mentioned that there is an enormous number of
problems
 on
earth
 that must be solved in the near future. One of the most tremendous
problems
 is pollution, since
people
 have been trying to solve it for decades.
According to
 one survey conducted in 2020,
people
 were able to solve only 20% of the problem. That implies that the solving of the issue is still in progress and requires investment.
On the contrary
, some
people
 believe that
money
 should be invested in exploring outer
space
 in order to find life there.
This
 essay cannot agree with it because of the fact that outer
space
 programs always cost enormous amounts of
money
.
According to
 data provided by Roscosmos, the quantity of
money
 spent by them on
space
programms
Correct your spelling
programmes
programs
in
Change the preposition
at
show examples
 the end of 2023 was about 4
billions
Change to singular
billion
show examples
 dollars. That only means that the
money
 that could be used in order to solve some
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
vital
earth
problems
will
Verb problem
apply
show examples
might be nullified since no one guarantee the result of
such
 an investigation. To infer, empowered
people
 should spend
money
 on
earth
Change noun form
earth's
show examples
problems
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 since there are
such
 serious ones as pollution and
money
 spent on exploring
space
 in order to find life there would be wasted since the price of them is extremely high.
Submitted by katerina21.05 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Aim for clearer transitions between paragraphs to improve the logical flow of your essay.
task achievement
Provide more relevant and specific examples to convincingly support your points.
task achievement
Work on developing your ideas more comprehensively for a clearer response.
coherence cohesion
Good introduction and conclusion, which frame your argument effectively.
task achievement
Addresses both perspectives and provides a clear point of view - well done!

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: