IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people want governments to spend money looking for life on other planets. Others, however, think this is a waste of public money when there are so many problems on earth. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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There are two diametrically opposite opinions about whether governments should invest their budgets in seeking life in outer
space
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 or not
,
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apply
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 since it might be a waste of
money
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, as there is a great number of
problems
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 on
earth
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.
This
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 essay agrees that
money
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 should be spent on solving
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Correct article usage
the earth
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earth
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earth's
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problems
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such
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 as pollution and does not agree with the opposite opinion, since the price of
such
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 investigations would be prohibitively expensive. First and foremost, it has to be mentioned that there is an enormous number of
problems
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 on
earth
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 that must be solved in the near future. One of the most tremendous
problems
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 is pollution, since
people
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 have been trying to solve it for decades.
According to
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 one survey conducted in 2020,
people
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 were able to solve only 20% of the problem. That implies that the solving of the issue is still in progress and requires investment.
On the contrary
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, some
people
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 believe that
money
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 should be invested in exploring outer
space
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 in order to find life there.
This
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 essay cannot agree with it because of the fact that outer
space
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 programs always cost enormous amounts of
money
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.
According to
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 data provided by Roscosmos, the quantity of
money
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 spent by them on
space
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programms
Correct your spelling
programmes
programs
in
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at
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 the end of 2023 was about 4
billions
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billion
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 dollars. That only means that the
money
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 that could be used in order to solve some
of
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apply
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vital
earth
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problems
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will
Verb problem
apply
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might be nullified since no one guarantee the result of
such
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 an investigation. To infer, empowered
people
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 should spend
money
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 on
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earth
Change noun form
earth's
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problems
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,
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apply
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 since there are
such
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 serious ones as pollution and
money
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 spent on exploring
space
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 in order to find life there would be wasted since the price of them is extremely high.

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coherence cohesion
Aim for clearer transitions between paragraphs to improve the logical flow of your essay.
task achievement
Provide more relevant and specific examples to convincingly support your points.
task achievement
Work on developing your ideas more comprehensively for a clearer response.
coherence cohesion
Good introduction and conclusion, which frame your argument effectively.
task achievement
Addresses both perspectives and provides a clear point of view - well done!

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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