Children find it difficult to concentrate or pay attention at school. what are the reasons?how can we solve this problem?
Nowadays, there is an
increasingly
phenomenon where students think that they are hard to focus on their courses at Change the adverb
increasing
school
. In this
essay, I will argue several reasons to explain why this
problem occurs and recommend solutions.
The first one that comes to my mind is that the knowledge taught is bored
Replace the word
boring
comparing
with Wrong verb form
compared
contents
online. Fix the agreement mistake
content
This
is mainly because children
may have absorbed those information
before Change the determiner
that information
classes
. For example
, if there is a class for children
regarding to
flowers, they will search images online about plants so that they will acknowledge it already. Remove the preposition
apply
As a result
, they ignore lessons at school
. Additionally
, the outdated teaching facilities in classrooms make courses more boring. For instance
, printed materials which
have limited Correct pronoun usage
apply
contents
, Fix the agreement mistake
content
while
students are used to well-illustrated contents
. Fix the agreement mistake
content
Furthermore
, new entertainment methods distract them. This
is mainly because they are
lack Unnecessary verb
apply
of
Change preposition
apply
self-decipline
, resulting in Correct your spelling
self-discipline
they
Correct pronoun usage
them
are
addicted to entertaining materials. Wrong verb form
being
For example
, children
’s concentration may be deprived due to
video games and short films
As for what we could do to deal with this
issue, firstly
, teachers should improve their method of classes
, with more sophisticated information. If they could make some films to appeal to children
with humor
, Change the spelling
humour
classes
can
be interesting enough to lure students. Wrong verb form
could
In addition
, parents should take pupils’ smart devices such
as smart phones
away from them before they Correct your spelling
smartphones
sent
them to Wrong verb form
send
school
.
In conclusion, children
’s preference of
Change preposition
for
the
new knowledge is the main cause of Correct article usage
apply
this
problem. Not only does the lack of updated teaching facilities cause this
problem, but also
distraction from new entertainment does. In my opinion, teachers and parents should take the responsibilities
to Fix the agreement mistake
responsibility
avoid
their Verb problem
prevent
children
from distracted
from Add a missing verb
being distracted
classes
at school
.Submitted by shaobo.xu on
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task achievement
Expand on and provide more examples to fully support your arguments. This will make your essay more convincing and help illustrate your points better.
task achievement
Proofread your essay to correct minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. For example, phrases like 'knowledge taught is bored' should be corrected to 'knowledge taught is boring'.
coherence cohesion
Ensure smooth transitions between ideas and paragraphs. Use linking words and phrases effectively to improve the flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Clearly separate different points in your arguments to avoid confusion. For example, discussing teaching methods and external distractions in separate paragraphs can make your point clearer.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and well-structured, effectively framing the essay.
task achievement
You have addressed several relevant reasons and suggested logical solutions to the problem.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?