IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Nowadays people use bicycles less as a form of transport.Why is this the case?What can we do to encourage people to use bicycles more?

While
Linking Words
 cycling is good for our physical health, there is a downward trend in our modern life today,
people
Use synonyms
 use
this
Linking Words
 transport less than others.
This
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 essay will analyze the problems of
this
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 trend and suggest some feasible solutions. There are two major problems that can lead to
this
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 case. One of the main issues is that using a
bicycle
Use synonyms
 is slower than other
transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
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.
Instead
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 of cycling to work or to school, we can use some modern vehicles
such
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 as cars, buses,... to tackle the problem
about
Change preposition
of
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 speed.
Furthermore
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, using modern
transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
show examples
 can carry more
people
Use synonyms
 than bicycles.
For example
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, a
bicycle
Use synonyms
 may carry one or two individuals, but even a car can
contain
Verb problem
carry
show examples
 about four
and
Correct word choice
or
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 more
people
Use synonyms
. These are the main issues that make humans nowadays keen on using other vehicles
instead
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 of cycling. There are a number of viable solutions to help tackle
this
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 problem.
To begin
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 with, cycling can help us to improve our physical health. For
people
Use synonyms
 who need to burn calories, we can ride a
bicycle
Use synonyms
 as a way of cardio. Cycling will give us stronger legs, a flexible body and
improved
Correct article usage
an improved
show examples
 respiratory system.
In addition
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, using bicycles can reduce pollution. Some automobiles which use gasoline in order to run may have bad effects on the environment.
Moreover
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, citizens have to pay an extra fee so as to refill their transport’s fuel. So
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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riding a
bicycle
Use synonyms
 not only helps us to decrease some demerit effects
such
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 as global warming, but
also
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 saves an extra budget for our life. In conclusion, the development
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 modern vehicles
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 the major
consequences
Fix the agreement mistake
consequence
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 of
people
Use synonyms
 not
keen
Add a missing verb
being keen
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 on using bicycles and several measures can be taken to put an end to the situation.

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task response
Ensure that points are fully developed with clear examples and explanations. The essay touches on several good points, but expanding on each point with more detail could improve its clarity and depth.
coherence cohesion
Work on smoothing transitions between sentences and paragraphs. Although the essay is generally cohesive, a few parts could flow more naturally. This can be achieved by using a variety of linking words and phrases.
grammar
Focus on minor grammatical errors and syntax. Small improvements can sharpen the overall readability and professionalism of your writing.
coherence cohesion
Your essay displays a clear and logical structure. The introduction sets up your arguments well, and the conclusion effectively summarizes your points.
task response
You have supported your main points with relevant examples, which helps to illustrate your arguments. This enhances the reader's understanding of your perspective.
task response
You've included a variety of reasons and solutions, making your essay comprehensive. This shows a thorough understanding of the topic and provides a well-rounded response.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • sustainable transport
  • cycling infrastructure
  • bike lanes
  • bike-sharing programs
  • traffic calming measures
  • commute
  • subsidies
  • physical exertion
  • environmental benefits
  • safety regulations
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