The chart shows different level of post-school qualifications in Australia

The chart shows different level of post-school qualifications in Australia
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The given graph illustrates the comparison of after-graduate qualifications in Australia and the percentages of
males
Use synonyms
and
females
Use synonyms
who held them in 1999.
Overall
Linking Words
, from the graph,
it is clear that
Linking Words
the
data
Use synonyms
for male Skilled Vocational
Diploma
Use synonyms
hit the highest point.
Besides
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, except for the Bachelor's Degree and the Undergraduate
Diploma
Use synonyms
, the percentages of
males
Use synonyms
were higher than
females
Use synonyms
. In terms of
data
Use synonyms
for the Skilled Vocational
Diploma
Use synonyms
, there was a big difference
ups
Replace the word
up
show examples
to 80% between the number of
males
Use synonyms
with 90% and
females
Use synonyms
with 10%. Regarding the figure for the Undergraduate
Diploma
Use synonyms
, the amount of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
females
Use synonyms
was 70%, twice as much as that of
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
with 35%.
While
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the
data
Use synonyms
of
males
Use synonyms
for Bachelor's Degree was 45%, the figure of
females
Use synonyms
was 5% higher. Compared to the number of
females
Use synonyms
, the
data
Use synonyms
of
males
Use synonyms
was higher than
females
Use synonyms
in the Postgraduate
Diploma
Use synonyms
with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
figure
Fix the agreement mistake
figures
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is 70% and 30%.
Finally
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, the Masters Degree was held by more
males
Use synonyms
than
females
Use synonyms
.
While
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there was only 40% for
females
Use synonyms
and 60% for the rest.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words males, females, data, diploma with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.
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