The chart shows different level of post-school qualifications in Australia

The chart shows different level of post-school qualifications in Australia
The given graph illustrates the comparison of after-graduate qualifications in Australia and the percentages of
males
and
females
who held them in 1999.
Overall
, from the graph,
it is clear that
the
data
for male Skilled Vocational
Diploma
hit the highest point.
Besides
, except for the Bachelor's Degree and the Undergraduate
Diploma
, the percentages of
males
were higher than
females
. In terms of
data
for the Skilled Vocational
Diploma
, there was a big difference
ups
Replace the word
up
show examples
to 80% between the number of
males
with 90% and
females
with 10%. Regarding the figure for the Undergraduate
Diploma
, the amount of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
females
was 70%, twice as much as that of
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
with 35%.
While
the
data
of
males
for Bachelor's Degree was 45%, the figure of
females
was 5% higher. Compared to the number of
females
, the
data
of
males
was higher than
females
in the Postgraduate
Diploma
with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
figure
Fix the agreement mistake
figures
show examples
is 70% and 30%.
Finally
, the Masters Degree was held by more
males
than
females
.
While
there was only 40% for
females
and 60% for the rest.
Submitted by quynhtranhbh on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words males, females, data, diploma with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.
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