The number of out weight children in the developed country is increasing. Some people thing this is due to problems such as the growing number of fast food outlets. Other believe that parents are to blame for not looking after their children health
In highly developed countries like America, the number of overweight
children
is too high. Some say fast Use synonyms
food
is the cause. Some say that Use synonyms
such
cases are caused by Linking Words
lack
of parental control.
Fast-Correct article usage
a lack
food
" is among the most preferred foods among Use synonyms
children
and adults Use synonyms
due to
its appearance and taste. Linking Words
In particular
, they attract people because they can be eaten immediately. . So what are the harms of "fast Linking Words
food
" for Use synonyms
children
?It Use synonyms
also
facilitates the occurrence of cancer and other chronic diseases. Fast Linking Words
food
, which has low nutritional value in terms of vitamins and minerals, weakens your child's immune system. It is known that drinks produced Use synonyms
together with
fast Linking Words
food
damage the chemical balance of the body and Use synonyms
it
have Correct pronoun usage
apply
a bad effects
on the human mind. In general, all these are harmful Correct the article-noun agreement
a bad effect
bad effects
for
the future of Change the preposition
to
children
.
In modern times, many people prefer ready-made foods. The reason for Use synonyms
this
is lack of time and a lot of work. Linking Words
For example
, Linking Words
lately
all parents Add a comma
lately,
works
and they don't have time to look after their Change the verb form
work
children
. But Use synonyms
this
should not be an excuse. Parents should not allow their Linking Words
children
to eat fast Use synonyms
food
as much as they can
In conclusion, I think both of these are wrong. It's really hard to stop eating fast Use synonyms
food
nowadays. But it can be controlled with parental control.Use synonyms
Submitted by i.nureddinn on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
Ensure clarity and fluency of expression. Some sentences are fragmented or unclear.
task achievement
Provide more relevant and specific examples to support your points. For instance, you could include statistics or real-life cases.
task achievement
Develop points further to elaborate on your arguments. Ensure every main idea is clearly and thoroughly explored.
task achievement
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your stance, balancing the viewpoints and offering a resolution.
coherence cohesion
Introduction sets the context well and clearly outlines the issue at hand.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic
Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.
You essay structure should look something like this:
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – Problems
- Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- One of the first problems of the...
- Another problem that needs to be considered...
- A possible solution to this problem would be...
- One immediate practical solution is to...