The number of out weight children in the developed country is increasing. Some people thing this is due to problems such as the growing number of fast food outlets. Other believe that parents are to blame for not looking after their children health
In highly developed countries like America, the number of overweight
children
is too high. Some say fast food
is the cause. Some say that such
cases are caused by lack
of parental control.
Fast-Correct article usage
a lack
food
" is among the most preferred foods among children
and adults due to
its appearance and taste. In particular
, they attract people because they can be eaten immediately. . So what are the harms of "fast food
" for children
?It also
facilitates the occurrence of cancer and other chronic diseases. Fast food
, which has low nutritional value in terms of vitamins and minerals, weakens your child's immune system. It is known that drinks produced together with
fast food
damage the chemical balance of the body and it
have Correct pronoun usage
apply
a bad effects
on the human mind. In general, all these are harmful Correct the article-noun agreement
a bad effect
bad effects
for
the future of Change the preposition
to
children
.
In modern times, many people prefer ready-made foods. The reason for this
is lack of time and a lot of work. For example
, lately
all parents Add a comma
lately,
works
and they don't have time to look after their Change the verb form
work
children
. But this
should not be an excuse. Parents should not allow their children
to eat fast food
as much as they can
In conclusion, I think both of these are wrong. It's really hard to stop eating fast food
nowadays. But it can be controlled with parental control.Submitted by i.nureddinn on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure clarity and fluency of expression. Some sentences are fragmented or unclear.
task achievement
Provide more relevant and specific examples to support your points. For instance, you could include statistics or real-life cases.
task achievement
Develop points further to elaborate on your arguments. Ensure every main idea is clearly and thoroughly explored.
task achievement
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your stance, balancing the viewpoints and offering a resolution.
coherence cohesion
Introduction sets the context well and clearly outlines the issue at hand.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic
Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.
You essay structure should look something like this:
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – Problems
- Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- One of the first problems of the...
- Another problem that needs to be considered...
- A possible solution to this problem would be...
- One immediate practical solution is to...