IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Introduction
Many
people
Use synonyms
 trust that there must be
deal
Correct article usage
a deal
show examples
 to give
penalty
Add an article
a penalty
show examples
 for each
clasification
Correct your spelling
classification
 of
crime
Use synonyms
. Another
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 society
think
Correct subject-verb agreement
thinks
show examples
 that it depends on the condition
a
Change preposition
of a
show examples
person who
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
 a
crime
Use synonyms
,
Then
Linking Words
 what causes them to do, it would be
determination
Add an article
a determination
show examples
 on the punishment. There
some
Add a missing verb
are some
show examples
 types of criminalization
have
Correct pronoun usage
that have
show examples
 severe
sanction
Fix the agreement mistake
sanctions
show examples
likewise
Linking Words
 drug
dealer
Fix the agreement mistake
dealers
show examples
 and terrorism.
Others
Correct quantifier usage
Other
show examples
, light laws are theft and robbery.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, drug
dealer
Fix the agreement mistake
dealers
show examples
 and
terrorism
Replace the word
terrorists
show examples
 are
violation
Correct article usage
a violation
show examples
that
Correct word choice
and
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 must get big punishment than
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
 criminalization
due to
Linking Words
 they are coordinated
that
Correct word choice
and that
show examples
 it effected bigger for adicted if individuals they are consuming,
for example
Linking Words
 young generation will lose
ther
Correct your spelling
their
 life if they are consuming
narcotica
Correct your spelling
narcotics
narcotic
.
Consequently
Linking Words
, They must get huge
sanction
Fix the agreement mistake
sanctions
show examples
 what are the consequences
Change preposition
of ther
show examples
ther
Correct your spelling
their
 actions.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
Linking Words
, theft and robbery are a offense
low
Change preposition
of low
show examples
punisment
Correct your spelling
punishment
 since that
crime
Use synonyms
not
Add a missing verb
does not
show examples
 big impact
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 other
society
Fix the agreement mistake
societies
show examples
for instance
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 are stealing chicken and
handphone
Fix the agreement mistake
handphones
show examples
where
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 they get to punish
prison
Change preposition
in prison
show examples
,
maybe
Change preposition
for maybe
show examples
 just three
month
Change to a plural noun
months
show examples
. after that, they will be
compensation
Replace the word
compensated
show examples
 for a
crime
Use synonyms
 they
do
Verb problem
commit
show examples
.
As a result
Linking Words
, they obtain
penalty
Fix the agreement mistake
penalties
show examples
lowes
Correct your spelling
lower
show examples
 than drug
dealer
Fix the agreement mistake
dealers
show examples
 and
terrorism
Replace the word
terrorists
show examples
.
Conclusion
To sum up
Linking Words
, most
people
Use synonyms
 get huge
punisment
Correct your spelling
punishment
 because the violation
people
Use synonyms
 who do that have a huge impact on other
people
Use synonyms
. another
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
crimes
Fix the agreement mistake
crime
show examples
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 the lowest
pinalty
Correct your spelling
penalty
 because the
crime
Use synonyms
 is not big impact
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
people
Use synonyms
. The recommendation gives punishment that
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
depends on
the
Correct pronoun usage
what the
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 do.

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introduction
Your introduction needs to be clearer and more concise. Try to introduce the topic and present both viewpoints in a straightforward manner.
structure
Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea, and use transition words to improve the logical flow of your essay.
details
Expand on your ideas with more specific examples and details to make your arguments stronger and more convincing.
language
Pay attention to grammar and vocabulary to ensure your ideas are communicated clearly and accurately.
content
You have attempted to discuss both views, which is essential for this type of essay.
structure
You included a conclusion that summarizes your main points, which shows an understanding of essay structure.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • fixed punishments
  • consistency
  • predictability
  • deter crime
  • potential offenders
  • streamline
  • judicial process
  • bias
  • corruption
  • complexity
  • human behavior
  • circumstances
  • justice system
  • intent
  • remorse
  • socio-economic background
  • rehabilitate offenders
  • recidivism rates
  • flexible punishment systems
  • inconsistencies
  • perceived injustices
  • public trust
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