IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line graph illustrates the amount of visitor spend for visitors to New Zealand from 5 countries over a period of eighteen years between 1996 and 2014.

The line graph illustrates the amount of visitor spend for visitors to New Zealand from 5 countries over a period of eighteen years between 1996 and 2014.
The line graph illustrates the amount of visitor spend for
visitors
Use synonyms
 to New Zealand from 5
countries
Use synonyms
 over a period of eighteen years between 1996 and 2014.
Overall
Linking Words
, during
this
Linking Words
 eighteen-year period, Australia remained the biggest spenders among
visitors
Use synonyms
, with all four
countries
Use synonyms
 spending much less on them. In 1996 China spent the least amount of money
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
visitors
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 Japan and the UK spent about as much as each other.
However
Linking Words
, by 2004, the gap in spending between these two
countries
Use synonyms
 had widened and considerably more money was spent in the USA than in Japan. As can be seen from the graph, the amount of
visitors
Use synonyms
 spent increased between 2004 and 2008 in three
countries
Use synonyms
 but dropped dramatically in Japan and
In
Change preposition
apply
show examples
China. The period between 2008 and 2010 saw a sharp growth.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words visitors, countries with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "illustrates" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "amount" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • illustrates
  • visitor spend
  • over a period of
  • eighteen years
  • between 1996 and 2014
  • general trend
  • observed
  • increase
  • decrease
  • fluctuations
  • a breakdown of
  • spending habits
  • comparison
  • highest spenders
  • lowest spenders
  • possible reasons
  • economic conditions
  • tourism promotions
  • significant events
  • specific significant peaks
  • drops in spending
  • corresponding years
  • impact of external factors
  • global financial crisis
  • natural disasters
  • summarizing
  • overall trend
  • implications
  • tourism industry
What to do next:
Look at other essays: