Some people believe that there should be fixed punishment for each type of crime. Others, However, argue that the curcumstances of an individual crime. an the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment. Discuss both views and give your opinion
Many
people
are believing
that there are be Wrong verb form
believe
fixed
Correct article usage
a fixed
pinalty
for Correct your spelling
penalty
classification
of Correct article usage
the classification
crime
. Another,
Remove the comma
apply
society
argued that it Add an article
the society
depend
on the conditionChange the verb form
depends
Change preposition
of a
a
person who has a Change preposition
of a
crime
. Then
what causes them to do, it would be determination on the punihsment
. Correct your spelling
punishment
This
essay wiil
discuss both views.
On the one hand, Correct your spelling
will
drug
dealer
Fix the agreement mistake
dealers
and
do Correct word choice
who
the
Correct article usage
apply
violation
Fix the agreement mistake
violations
that
Correct word choice
apply
it
must get bigger Correct pronoun usage
apply
punishment
than Fix the agreement mistake
punishments
others
due to
they have coordinator
who can control the activity for distribution Fix the agreement mistake
coordinators
many
narcoba every area and they get big sallary for the occupation. so if the Change preposition
of many
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
not
give Change the verb form
does not
did not
death
penalty Correct article usage
the death
them
that will be Correct pronoun usage
apply
danger
because most Replace the word
dangerous
society
will follow the work. Change preposition
of society
Consequently
, drug
Add an article
a drug
dealer
will Fix the agreement mistake
dealers
be
increase Unnecessary verb
apply
every
Change preposition
in every
countries
and it will be effect danger for Change to a singular noun
country
society
to consume the drug
. Additionally
, terrorism
must get big Replace the word
terrorists
punishment
since they have
think what they do is right but it Unnecessary verb
apply
is kill
many Wrong verb form
kills
people
, so a crime
should get the
severe Correct article usage
apply
punishment
.
On the other hand
, theft and robbery are a offense low pinalty
because the crime
not
Add a missing verb
does not
the
biggest Add a missing verb
have the
impact
for
Change preposition
on
others
Change noun form
others'
other's
society
, for
instance
Add the comma(s)
instance,
people
are stealing chicken and handphone
Fix the agreement mistake
handphones
where
they get to Correct word choice
and
punish
Wrong verb form
be punished
prison
maybe Change preposition
in prison
justh
Correct your spelling
in
tree
month. After Correct your spelling
a
that
they will be Add a comma
that,
compensation
for a Replace the word
compensated
crime
they do
. Verb problem
committed
As a result
, the
get obtain Correct your spelling
they
the
less than Correct article usage
apply
drug
dealer
and Fix the agreement mistake
dealers
terrorism
.
In my opinion, I totally agree if the Replace the word
terrorists
punishment
drug
dealer
and Fix the agreement mistake
dealers
terrorisme
get severe Correct your spelling
terrorists
punisment
since they do Correct your spelling
punishment
that
have Correct pronoun usage
apply
big
Correct article usage
a big
impact
Change preposition
on others
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
people
if they not
get the Add a missing verb
do not
pinalty
, Correct your spelling
punishment
others
lowest punisment
is robbery and theft because Correct your spelling
punishment
that is
not big
Correct article usage
a big
impact
for
other Change preposition
on
people
.
To sum up
., most people
get huge punishment
because the Fix the agreement mistake
punishments
violation
who do that have Fix the agreement mistake
violations
huge
Add an article
a huge
impact
other
Change preposition
on other
people
. Another,
Remove the comma
apply
crimes
Fix the agreement mistake
crime
is
the lowest Change the verb form
are
pinalty
because the Correct your spelling
penalty
crime
is
not big Verb problem
does
impact
for
other Change preposition
on
people
. The recommendation gives punishment
that it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
depend
on Change the verb form
depends
the
Correct pronoun usage
what the
people
do.Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on
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task achievement
Your essay addresses the prompt and discusses both views, but there are several grammar and vocabulary errors that make it difficult to understand in places. Focus on improving your grammar and sentence structure to make your ideas clearer.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay needs improvement. Try to organize your essay using clear paragraphs for each main point and ensure there is a logical flow of ideas from one paragraph to the next.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present, but they could be more effective. The introduction should clearly present the topic and outline the main points of your essay, while the conclusion should summarize the key points and restate your opinion.
task achievement
You made a clear attempt to respond to both parts of the question, discussing both fixed punishment and circumstance-based punishment.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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