In the future it may be necessary for us to live on other planets. For this reason, some people, believe that we should spent money now to research other planets, such as mars. To what extent to do you agree or disagree? Give reasons to your answer and include relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

People think that in the future, it will be possible to live outside of
planet
Earth.
Therefore
, they encourage researchers to increase the budget needed to explore other
planets
to find a suitable one for
humans
to live on,
such
as Mars. In my opinion,
money
should be spent on more crucial things because
space
research
has an unknown outcome and may take
years
to become applicable. My contention will be
further
explained.
To begin
with, researching outer
space
and the
planets
is considered to be time-consuming, and the
results
are
Verb problem
do
show examples
not meet the targeted core for
such
research
.
In other words
, spending
money
to fund those
research
projects is a waste, because scientists are dealing with the unknown.
In addition
,
space
and
planet
research
is one of the mysteries of the world, it is not easy to predict
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
if it is possible for
humans
to be able to live there.
For example
, NASA each year spends thousands of dollars
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
space
research
. Not only each year there are different outcomes, but
also
some recent data contradicts the previous ones.
Hence
,
instead
of spending
money
to search for the vagueness of the
space
, it is important to use that
money
to fund medical
research
to find a cure for cancer.
Nevertheless
, over the past
years
, many countries have started
research
regarding
space
and
planets
.
However
, those studies took place in governmental facilities, which are now closed. To explain more, the government set a budget for the search for the ability of
humans
to live on
other
Change the wording
another planet
other planets
show examples
planet
, but sadly, after
years
of searching and millions of dollars the final
results
showed that the idea of
such
a thing is unlikely to be real and even the implantation of
this
new place of living is extremely hard. A prime example,
the
Add a missing verb
is the
show examples
American
Space
Institute published an article about the possibilities of life on another
planet
and it showed that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
space
and moving
planets
lake
Verb problem
lack
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
evidence of life.
Moreover
, there are no signs of living organisms or water,
therefore
, making it impossible for
humans
to stay alive there.
Hence
, there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
no need to put
money
on
Change preposition
into
show examples
research
with inapplicable outcomes, in which
implimiting
Correct your spelling
implementing
those
results
considered
Add a missing verb
is considered
show examples
to be far from reality. In summary, after manifesting the above-mentioned points, it can be said that spending
money
on
space
and
planet
research
is a waste of time and
money
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because the end
results
are unclear and the ability to make it real will not be easy to apply in real life.
Therefore
, exploring
space
is still a big mystery and it may take
years
to find a suitable place for
humans
there.
In addition
,
money
instead
should be used to fund
research
regarding cancer therapy or children’s health.
Submitted by Selfigih7 on

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coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the logical flow between some points could be improved. Try to make smoother transitions between your ideas. Additionally, ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea, and avoid redundant phrases like 'To explain more' or 'A prime example,' which can disrupt the flow of your writing.
task achievement
You have addressed the question effectively and provided relevant examples to support your arguments. To strengthen your task achievement, consider providing more detailed explanations and expanding on your points. Clarify the significance of each example in relation to your argument, and avoid generalizations by backing your claims with precise data or studies where possible.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction effectively sets the stage for the essay, presenting a clear stance on the subject matter. The conclusion also neatly summarizes your points and reinforces your main argument, providing a sense of closure to the essay.
task achievement
You have successfully addressed the question and presented a coherent argument. Your ideas are relevant, and your examples are appropriately chosen, which strengthens the credibility of your arguments.

Word Count

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A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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