IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

The three pie charts below show the changes in annual spending by local authorities in Someland in 1980, 1990, and 2000.

The three pie charts below show the changes in annual spending by local authorities in Someland in 1980, 1990, and 2000.
#three #show #changes #authorities #someland
The given three pie charts illustrate differences in yearly
spendin
Correct your spelling
spending
spendin'
 by local officials in Someland between 1980, 1990 and 2000. The biggest
one
 is higher education and it stayed
biggest
Correct article usage
the biggest
show examples
one
. Transportation changed too much. Higher education was 35
percent
 and it was
biggest
Correct article usage
the biggest
show examples
one
 in 1980. After
decade
Add an article
a decade
show examples
, it
incerased
Correct your spelling
increased
one
Change preposition
by one
show examples
 in ten
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 and it decreased to 40
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in 2000. Sector k-12 education had been 25
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 when started. It fell a very small number
than
Correct your spelling
then
show examples
 it decreased again and it was 18
percent
 in 2000. Transportation was 16
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 when it started and that had a
dramatically
Change the adverb
dramatic
show examples
 decrease in 1990. But it climbed with
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
sharply
Change the adverb
sharp
show examples
 increase from 6
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 to 22
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 decade. Health and human resources
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 14
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 when it started
then
, it grew 6
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in 1990 but it
dopped
Correct your spelling
dropped
show examples
 back to
one
 in ten
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
. Environmental services had been 4
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 when it started in 1980. After that, it grew but it
still
Add a missing verb
was still
show examples
 a very small number
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the chart. It rose again and it reached
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
9
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
. And
finally
,
other
Change preposition
in other
show examples
 sectors the smallest
one
 was 6
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in 1980 and it
decresed
Correct your spelling
decreased
 to 4
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
. When it came to 2000, it was 1
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in the pie chart.
Submitted by svdnruslu on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
▼
Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
▼
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words one, percent with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 3 times.
▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • allocation of budget
  • percentage distribution
  • annual spending
  • local authorities
  • sectors
  • increased funding
  • decreased funding
  • trends
  • socio-economic conditions
  • policies
  • expenditure
  • public services
  • financial priorities
  • budgetary adjustments
  • fiscal policies
  • discretionary spending
  • mandatory spending
  • inflation-adjusted
What to do next:
Look at other essays: