IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2

Some people believe that residents should keep their streets neat and clean while other think that it is responsibilty of government to keep society clean. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #residents #streets #responsibilty #government #society
A group of
people
 thinks residents have to manage their own streets,
on the other hand
, the other group believe that they must keep
society
 stressed. I believe that
people
 are more important and it`s necessary for the
government
 to calm them down.
Maintain
Wrong verb form
Maintaining
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
 in a
society
 is the most important thing in a country.
People
 have some needs and
also
 they think about some problems with their living, if the
government
 does not manage them or does not have some solution for these matters they absolutely get depression and are not happy. These issues can have a bad effect on citizens in a country. If citizens are not happy and
being
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
stressful
Replace the word
stressed
show examples
,
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
 residents couldn`t keep their stress neat. When a
society
 is so relaxed, the
government
 wheel moves comfortably. So the
government
 need
people
 to be
relax
Wrong verb form
relaxed
show examples
 and all of their hard
working
Replace the word
work
show examples
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 for having a great
sopciety
Correct your spelling
society
 and they must pay attention to the
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
 needs. So having both
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
society
 and
government
 relaxed is
so
Rephrase
apply
show examples
necessary to work on
pepole
Correct your spelling
people
 needs.
Submitted by TUTOO on

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task achievement
Firstly, your argument tends to focus more on the emotional well-being of residents rather than directly addressing the main topic, which is whether residents or the government should be responsible for keeping the streets clean.
coherence and cohesion
You should introduce clear and structured arguments for both perspectives. This can be done by first presenting the argument that residents should keep the streets clean, then presenting the counter-argument that the government should do it, and finally giving your opinion with supporting reasons.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay lacks a strong conclusion that summarizes the main points discussed. Make sure to include a concluding paragraph that reiterates your opinion and the reasons behind it.
task achievement
You have a clear stance in your essay.
task achievement
Your essay demonstrates an understanding that the cleanliness of the streets relates to the overall well-being of the society.
coherence and cohesion
The intent to discuss the emotional state of the residents as a factor affecting their ability to maintain cleanliness shows an interesting perspective.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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