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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some children have to live at different places during their childhood because of transferable jobs from their parents. What are the advantages and disadvantages of living in different places in childhood on child development?

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Moving to other places may make some people feel homesick, especially children, but some must do it
due to
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 their parents' jobs. I will discuss the pros and cons of
this
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 topic in the following paragraphs. On the one hand, living in various locations could broaden your horizons. You will have more chances to get
along with
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 others. Maybe, you will have more friends.
For example
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, if you have bad relationships with your
neighbors
Change the spelling
neighbours
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 or classmates, you can
end
Correct your spelling
send
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 them by immigration, and you will not see them in the future. It is pretty good, and you can start again. In my view, you can make friends who have the same interests as you. The person
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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you will
be sometimes depends
Change the verb form
sometimes depend
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 on your
neighbors
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neighbours
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. You will be affected by the people who are surrounding you. If you have experience living in other countries, you will think differently.
On the other hand
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, transferring from one
place
Use synonyms
 to another frequently is not a good idea because you are not stable. You do not have a hometown, you do not who you are and who you belong to.
As a result
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, I believe he or she may have self-identified problems. For someone, it is very hard to adapt to a new
place
Use synonyms
.
For instance
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, when I was a kid, I moved to a new
place
Use synonyms
 to live. It took me a long time to get used to the new life. I am a very shy person, and it is not easy to talk with strangers
,
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apply
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 and to make new friends. I like to live in the same
place
Use synonyms
 for good, and I do not like to make a change. In a nutshell, having experience in living
different
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in different
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 places is good for
enrich
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enriching
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 your life.
However
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,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people like me may think it is terrible, and we do not want to change anything in our lives.

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task achievement
Expand on ideas with more specific examples and details to strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Work on developing smoother transitions between paragraphs to improve the overall flow of your essay.
task achievement
Your essay addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of the topic effectively, showcasing a balanced view.
coherence cohesion
Your essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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