Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Other believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification discuss both these views and give your own opinion

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Careful consideration must be given to whether or not elective
subjects
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should be added to several universities’ curriculums. The writer of
this
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essay contends that it is more beneficial for
students
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due to
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providing practical
skills
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and relaxation rather than completely focusing on achieving a degree. To commence with,
interventing
Verb problem
introducing
show examples
other
subjects
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to curricula helps
students
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gain more social
skills
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.
In other words
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,
students
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are able to learn several
skills
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for communication, teamwork or dealing with problems which are necessary for their future careers.
As a result
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, these kinds of
students
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will become holistic, having more benefits in applying for jobs. Some people,
however
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, believe that altogether concentrating on studying for degrees gives
students
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flying colours in their fields. To be more specific, because
students
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are not disturbed by any other
subjects
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, individuals make more efforts and attempts in their fields, leading to acquiring higher scores. Take,
for example
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, Vietnam, where 27% of seniors in 2018 just
pursuited
Correct your spelling
pursued
to 4.0 GPA in Maths because it could influence the levels of their degrees. From the writer’s perspective, the comfort of learning is one of the benefits of adding other
subjects
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. It must be recognised that since main
subjects
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always make
students
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stressed and overwhelmed in their studies, learning elective
subjects
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is a good way for them to relax with many recreational activities.
For instance
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, in 2020, Havard University allowed their sophomore to choose types of sports to study and these permissions
also
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helped 75% of them unwind after the 5-hour studying natural science.
Thus
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, even though paying all attention to study for qualifications assists university
students
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obtain high scores, the provision of soft
skills
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and rest in learning more other
subjects
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are aspects that should be given more consideration.
Hence
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, bonusing elective fields is more effective in educational curriculums.
Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on

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clarity
It's important to ensure clarity in your writing. Avoid overly complex sentences that might confuse the reader. For example, the phrase 'Careful consideration must be given to whether or not elective subjects should be added to several universities’ curriculums' could be simplified for better understanding.
grammar
Pay attention to grammatical accuracy. For instance, 'interventing other subjects to curricula' should be 'introducing other subjects to the curriculum'. Minor grammatical issues can slightly hinder the flow of your essay.
vocabulary
Use a consistent vocabulary to enhance readability. For example, 'main subjects', 'fields', and 'degree' could be better coordinated to avoid any confusion. Maintain coherence by sticking to a more uniform lexicon.
content
You provided a well-rounded discussion by addressing both viewpoints and offering specific examples to support your claims. This is an excellent approach and shows a good grasp of the topic.
structure
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, aiding the overall structure and readability. This helps in maintaining a logical flow throughout the piece.
examples
The use of specific examples, such as references to Vietnam and Harvard University, helps to concretize your arguments, making your points more persuasive and relatable.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broaden
  • Perspectives
  • Specialize
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Career success
  • Interdisciplinary connections
  • Structured path
  • Clear goals
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Academic credibility
  • Recognition
  • Balance
  • Exploring
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