In many countries, traditional foods are being replaced by fast food. This has a negative impact on families, individuals and societies. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
"Fast illness.
food
is popular because it is convenient, it is cheap, and it tastes good. But the real cost of eating fast food
never appears on the menu".-said
Eric Schlosser. Naturally, today junk Correct your spelling
said
food
is becoming daily
consumption of ordinary people. From my point of view, it has not only Correct article usage
the daily
negative
effect on Add an article
a negative
persons
but on both our families and community.
To start with, consuming extensive Replace the word
people
amount
of junk Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
food
in place of conventional ones has an adverse impact on public health. Due to
the fact that those who eat a great deal of convenience food
are more likely to expose
Wrong verb form
be exposed
obesity
in light of Change preposition
to obesity
composing
of high calories. It is Wrong verb form
composed
the
fact that a plethora of American people are eager to consume processed Correct article usage
a
food
, which now makes them suffer from a certain types
Change the noun form
type
Change preposition
of
Furthermore
, fast food
is currently considered to be far and away the most commonplace in many states, which is causing to
the extinction of traditional cuisines in our society. Not only does it affect Change preposition
apply
community
significantly, but Correct article usage
the community
also
families could be the main point. Inasmuch as,
it leads traditional values to be forgotten.
Remove the comma
apply
On the other hand
, it is generally accepted that junk food
is confidently said to be less pricey as compared to conventional ones. Not to mention
that the one is exceptionally favorable
for individuals Change the spelling
favourable
as well as
for those who are educated in High School. Owing to the fact that, by purchasing those types of food
, ones save both their money and time.
All things considered, in a number of areas, traditional foods are believed to be superseded by instant foods which adversely impact on
persons, families and even Change preposition
apply
community
. From my perspective, we should reduce consuming fast Fix the agreement mistake
communities
foods
Fix the agreement mistake
food
as
low a level as possible. By doing so, we may keep our health in balance.Change preposition
to as
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coherence cohesion
Your essay presents several relevant points, but they could be better organized. Clearer topic sentences at the start of each paragraph and more logical progression of ideas will improve the structure.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion effectively frame the essay, but the body paragraphs need stronger connections, and transitions between points could be smoother. Consider using more linking phrases and words.
task achievement
You have addressed the task prompt adequately; however, some arguments need to be expanded upon with more specific examples. This will strengthen your response and make it more convincing.
task achievement
Some ideas in the essay are somewhat general and could benefit from further elaboration. Try to provide clearer explanations and more comprehensive details to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion, while concise, do frame the discussion well and are clearly connected to the main topic.
task achievement
The essay covers both aspects of the prompt, discussing the impact of fast food on individuals, families, and society.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.