IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some believe that in the next 100 years most people will have a better life, while others disagree. What is your opinion?

#believe #years #people #life
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In
this
 modern technological world, it is undeniable that
people
 make a number of inventions, aiming
a
Change preposition
for a
show examples
better quality of
life
. In
this
 regard, some individuals reckon that
people
's
lives
 could be more
covenient
Correct your spelling
convenient
 and enjoyable in the next ten decades
while
 others argue that nothing could be
futher
Correct your spelling
further
 from the truth in the future. From my perspective, our
lives
 become more favourable through the benefits of technology and research.
Therefore
,
this
 essay
intend
Change the verb form
intends
show examples
 to discuss how technology could make
easier
Correct pronoun usage
it easier
show examples
.
To begin
 with,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technological advancements have enhanced
a
Change the word
our
show examples
 quality of
life
 and made our
life
 more easier. It can be proven by Artificial intelligence. These days, AI
becomes
Wrong verb form
has become
show examples
 a part of our
lives
. We can ask
any
Change preposition
for any
show examples
 information.
For example
, it can
be solved
Wrong verb form
solve
show examples
 even
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
complicated
mathematic
Correct word choice
mathematical
show examples
 problems within
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 blink of
Correct article usage
an eyes
show examples
eyes
Fix the agreement mistake
eye
show examples
, and it can provide
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
creative business ideas promptly.
As a result
,it allows
people
saving
Change the verb form
to save
show examples
 their time efficiently.
Furthermore
, human beings' enthusiasm and idea are
unlimitied
Correct your spelling
unlimited
limited
 to seek out
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
better quality. In the medical sector, researchers have attempted to expand the frontier of their medical treatments. Recently, they found
new
Add an article
a new
show examples
 vaccine for cancer disease.
Due to
 their devoted efforts and dedication,
people
 can age
healtier
Correct your spelling
healthier
 and in the future, there will be no illness which
could not
Wrong verb form
cannot
show examples
 be treated by medical practitioners . After reviewing the recent discoveries, there is no doubt that we have better
lives
 in the next decades.
To sum up
, it can be reiterated that humanity's inventions aim to have
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
life
.
Due to
 their attempts, our
lives
 will continue to be more convenient and comfortable in the future
Submitted by ayepwintphyu02 on

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coherence cohesion
Enhance logical flow between paragraphs. Ensure each paragraph clearly supports your overall argument without abrupt transitions.
task achievement
Provide more detailed examples and elaborate on how they specifically support your argument. For instance, in discussing medical advancements, provide more concrete details or statistics to strengthen your case.
general
Proofread to catch minor errors (e.g., 'more easier' should be 'easier'). This will help improve clarity and precision in your writing.
task achievement
Comprehensive response to the task prompt, effectively addressing both perspectives.
coherence cohesion
Clear introduction and conclusion, providing a good framework for the essay.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph has a distinct main idea, contributing to the overall argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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