Some people suggest that bringing up children by the whole family including uncles, aunts and grandparents is better, rather than only by parents. To what extend are you agree or disagree
The upbringing of
children
is a crucial aspect of shaping their personality. Some believe that parents
should not be the primary caregivers, but I firmly align with the view that parents
should play the central role
. Parental experts widely agree that strong parental involvement in a child
's life leads to enhanced parental authority and improved decision-making capabilities. By taking a central role
, parents
are able to establish clear boundaries, rules, and expectations for their children
. This
, in turn, encourages the child
to be more responsible, as they understand they will be held accountable for their actions. Additionally
, this
hands-on parental approach helps foster a high level of consistency for the child
, even in challenging situations. When children
are raised in environments with actively engaged parents
, they develop greater adaptability and flexibility in navigating their lives. For instance
, when a child
knows they must answer for their behaviors
, they are more inclined to thoughtfully consider the potential consequences before acting. Firm in my belief, I hold that when Change the spelling
behaviours
parents
take an active role
in raising their children
, they cultivate deep, meaningful connections. This
, in turn, fosters an environment where kids feel comfortable opening up about their problems without fear of criticism or dismissal. Furthermore
Add a comma
Furthermore,
Additionally
, the presence of financially supportive parents
is essential for children
. Parental financial backing enables children
to invest their time and energy into improving their education and developing valuable skills. Conversely
, children
without involved or financially capable parents
often are deprived of the ability to fully focus on their studies and personal growth, as they must divert their attention to meeting basic needs.
While
some may advocate seeking guidance from external sources and their accumulated wisdom when planning a child
's upbringing, I firmly disagree with this
approach. In my view, this
can lead to children
becoming increasingly confused, as the lessons they learn from their parents
may clash with the advice imparted by others. For instance
, grandparents may at times prefer to act with leniency, even when their own children
do not adhere to established norms. However
, when this
child
then
rejoins the family, they may neglect to properly heed the authority and role
of their own parents
. In conclusion In
, Change preposition
apply
children
who grow up with direct parental involvement and support tend to be stronger than those raised primarily in extended family settings.Submitted by homa.nazrmian56 on
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task response
Your essay provides a clear perspective but could benefit from more balanced elaboration on both sides of the argument. This will display a more comprehensive understanding of the topic and improve your task response score.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the logical structure by ensuring each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next. Consider using linking words or phrases to guide the reader through your points systematically.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure your introduction and conclusion clearly frame the argument. For instance, a more defined conclusion can help reinforce your stance and summarize your main points effectively.
task response
Include specific, relevant examples to provide greater support to your main points. This can strengthen your argument and make your essay more compelling.
task response
You have a clear and consistent stance on the topic, which is well-argued throughout the essay.
task achievement
Your essay features meaningful statements that show an understanding of child upbringing and the role of parents.
Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.
A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).
Stick to this essay structure:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion