Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Some opine that
parents
are responsible for child's
good behaviour Correct article usage
a child's
while
others suggest that schools play a major role
in inculcating good habits to young ones. I, however
think that both parties play equally Add the comma(s)
however,
a
important Change the article
an
role
in child's
Correct article usage
a child's
brought up
. My reasonings shall be discussed in the following passages.
On Verb problem
life
one
hand, It is believed that children must be disciplined by their Correct article usage
the one
parents
as they have more responsibility towards them. Parents
are answerable to the
society for their prodigy's behaviour. If a child behaves in an unruly manner, it is natural for anyone to blame his or her Correct article usage
apply
parents
, because offsprings
attitude is a reflection of their surroundings. In order to be a good citizen Change noun form
offspring's
father
and Fix the agreement mistake
fathers
mother
should teach their young ones to be kind, polite, respectful and obey the Fix the agreement mistake
mothers
government
law and order as Change noun form
government's
this
will earn them a good reputation. For example
, my mother has always taught me to respect my elders and be kind to people who are unfortunate. As I started practicing the aforementioned habits, people started having good opinion
about me which made my Fix the agreement mistake
opinions
parents
happy and proud. In addition
, many gave me good recommendation letter
for my job opportunities.
Fix the agreement mistake
letters
On the other hand
, children spend most of their time at school and hence
people are of the opinion that teachers and fellow school officials play a vital role
in upbringing a good citizen. Since,
children spend 8 hours per day at educational Remove the comma
apply
institute
, it is up to the tutors who Fix the agreement mistake
institutes
can
instill good habits Verb problem
apply
to
teenagers. Especially, with respect to communicating with their peers, Change preposition
in
having
empathy towards their friends and classmates. Correct word choice
and having
In addition
, schools always have certain rules to be followed, to exemplify, punctuality, dress code, Correct word choice
and maintaining
maintaining
Wrong verb form
maintain
a
decorum. All these can be learnt only in educational institutions.
In conclusion, today's youngsters are tomorrow's leaders. In order for them to be a decent citizen, both Correct article usage
apply
parents
and educationalist
have a crucial Fix the agreement mistake
educationalists
role
in moulding a young one behaviour.Submitted by u.umayal92 on
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coherence cohesion
The introduction could be more engaging and clearer in presenting the stance of the essay. Consider rephrasing for better readability and coherence.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and logically flows from one to another. This would improve the logical structure and cohesion.
task achievement
While the ideas are clear, they could be developed further. For stronger support, provide more in-depth examples and explanation in each paragraph.
task achievement
Avoid minor grammatical errors and enhance sentence variety to improve clarity and readability.
task achievement
The essay addresses both views of the topic and provides a balanced opinion, which is essential for a high score in task achievement.
task achievement
The use of personal examples makes the arguments relatable and strong. This is a good strategy to make the essay more compelling.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and restates the opinion, providing a sense of closure to the essay.