IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Mrs. Barette, an English-speaking woman who lives in your town, has advertised for someone to help her in her home for few hours a day next summer. Write a letter to Mrs. Barette. In your letter suggest how you could help her in her home say why you would like to do this work explain when you will and will not available

#mrs #barette #woman #lives #town #someone #home #hours #summer #work
Dear Mrs. Barette, I hope
this
 letter finds you in best of the spirits and radiant health. I am writing
this
 letter
with
Change preposition
in
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 context to the advertisement in which you asked for someone to help you
in
Change preposition
apply
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next summer. I am willing to help you. I would be delighted to babysit your children for
few
Correct article usage
a few
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 hours a day. I am offering
this
 help because I adore your wards and by babysitting them I would give myself an opportunity to spend some quality time with them.
Moreover
, it will help me to complete an assignment on
child's
Change noun form
child
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 psychology given to me by my class teacher.
Hence
, by offering
this
 help I will
be benefitted
Wrong verb form
benefit
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 both ways.
However
, I will be with you for the entire summer except
last
Correct article usage
the last
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 week of July, as I have promised my grandparents to visit them and stay with them for a week. I hope you will accept
this
 proposal and allow me to help you. I am looking forward to hearing from you. Yours faithfully, Jatinder.
Submitted by mrsdns on

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task achievement
Consider providing a more detailed explanation of the tasks you can perform for Mrs. Barette to enhance task achievement.
coherence cohesion
Try to ensure each paragraph focuses on a single idea for better clarity.
task achievement
The letter has a friendly and respectful tone, which is very suitable for this context.
coherence cohesion
The letter is well-structured with clear sections for each required point, such as offering help, stating reasons, and availability.
coherence cohesion
Good use of greetings and sign-offs, which enhances the politeness of the letter.
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