when choosing a job, the salary is the most important consideration. to what extent do you agree or disagree?
Many
people
claim that when it comes to choosing a profession, the most substantial factor to consider is the proportion of the salary. This
essay totally agrees with this
statement because high salaries
can lead to increased work efficiency. Additionally
, well-compensated jobs
are more likely to influence employees
' commitment and morale.
On the one hand, the salary is considered as an effective item in making people
, work more efficiently. That is
to say that when employees
are fairly paid they will be more motivated to meet required deadlines. Furthermore
, nowadays, money is the most important element in people
daily lives and they see poverty as an obstacle that blocks their minds; Change noun form
people's
Therefore
, they can focus more on their professions. For example
, pavol
Durov the owner of Telegram has claimed that he has boosted his Change the capitalization
Pavol
Pavel
employees
' incentives by raising their salaries
.
On the other hand
, if individuals are paid well, the possibilities
of them sticking to their Fix the agreement mistake
possibility
jobs
will rise. According to
the societies, many employed people
change their jobs
frequently due to
low levels of salaries
. Well-compensated companies by dedicating more salaries
to their employees
, are more likely to have them recruited for longer periods of time. In contrast
, when individuals feel that they are not respected in their current positions, they may not stay committed to their jobs
. For instance
, many companies lose their workers annually, as a result
of not considering fair salaries
for them.
In conclusion, I agree that if individuals are paid enough, they will probably be more dedicated to their jobs
. Moreover
, they are more likely to stay with their company and maintain a high level of loyalty.Submitted by fati.p98n on
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task achievement
Your essay presents a clear and relevant response to the prompt, addressing both the importance of salary for work efficiency and employee retention. However, you could enhance the depth of your argument by including more varied examples and exploring potential counterarguments.
coherence cohesion
While your essay has a logical structure with defined paragraphs, there is some room for improvement. For instance, your topic sentences can be made more precise to clearly introduce the main idea of each paragraph. Consistently use transition words and linking phrases to connect your ideas more smoothly.
introduction conclusion present
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the discussion about the importance of salary in job selection.
supported main points
The main points are supported with relevant examples, such as the reference to Pavel Durov's strategy with Telegram employees.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?