19 .As the world has become technological advance, computer are replacing more and more jobs that maybe lose because of computer. Discuss at least one problem that may result.
Nowadays,
information
technology
development becoming more sophisticated and play
Correct subject-verb agreement
plays
important
role Add an article
an important
for
our Change preposition
in
life
, especially Fix the agreement mistake
lives
for
Change preposition
in
business
activities
while
certain roles have more dependecies
Correct your spelling
dependencies
with
Change preposition
on
technology
. Then
, this
condition could bring a
problems for humans since there are several job Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
rolesthat
could be replaced by Correct your spelling
roles that
technology
. In my opinion, information
technology
could offer several advantages through
to make Change preposition
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
business
activities
more effective and efficient.
First of all, advanced technology
could operate countinously
. Unlike humans who Correct your spelling
continuously
needs
to take some Change the verb form
need
rests
, machines and devices could operate 24 hours to run the Fix the agreement mistake
rest
business
activities
. This
advantage could has
a vital role, especially for Change the verb form
have
company
that produce goods to keep their production process running well over Fix the agreement mistake
companies
the
time.
Correct article usage
apply
Then
, utilization
of advanced Correct article usage
the utilization
technology
could minimize errors to the lowest level while
human have
potential Change the verb form
has
error
Fix the agreement mistake
errors
while
do
their work. Change the verb form
doing
This
aspect play
Change the verb form
plays
important
role since it could save the company budget for any Add an article
an important
misake
that Correct your spelling
mistake
mistakes
occured
, Correct your spelling
occurs
such
as error
Add an article
an error
on
Change preposition
in
production
process could Correct article usage
the production
minimizing
scrap or miscalculation of Wrong verb form
minimise
projection
could have Fix the agreement mistake
projections
impact
Add an article
an impact
the impact
to
Change preposition
on
business
decision
.
Fix the agreement mistake
decisions
To conclude
, Correct article usage
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
information
technology
development offer
several competitive advantages to assist Change the verb form
offers
business
activities
. On other
hand, it could be a threat Correct article usage
the other
for
Change preposition
to
the
labour Correct article usage
apply
due to
the machines and devices that provide better endurance and consistency. Information
technology
development could be avoided and there will be eliminated jobs in the future. However
, human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
would
adapt Verb problem
can
with
any changes and there will be Change preposition
to
a new jobs
in the future as well.Correct the article-noun agreement
new jobs
a new job
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task achievement
Ensure that your thesis statement clearly indicates the problems that will result from technology replacing jobs. In this essay, the main issue was not explicitly stated at the beginning, which can make it harder for readers to follow your argument.
task achievement
Work on varying your sentence structure and vocabulary to maintain the reader's interest and demonstrate a higher level of language proficiency.
task achievement
Provide more detailed examples and explanations for each point. This helps to strengthen your argument and gives the essay more depth.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that relates directly to the thesis. This will help to improve the logical flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Use transitional phrases and linking words more effectively to connect your ideas and create a smoother flow between paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Revise for minor grammatical issues and word choice errors to improve clarity and readability.
content
Your essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and provides a coherent argument.
content
You have made a commendable effort to explain the benefits of technology and its potential threats to employment.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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