many people today are choosing to travel to other countries. why is this happening? is this a positive or negative development?
Nowadays, most individuals prefer to travel to other
countries
. In my idea, technological advancement and the development
of different social media lead to choosing over-boundaries destinations by some people
. In addition
, to my opinion, the positive effects
in connection with this
selection are more significant than its minor negative impacts.
The advancement in technology plays a critical role in getting familiar with different countries
among people
. This
means that,
cyberspace and social media contribute to suitable opportunities for sharing experiences and introducing various unspoiled sightseeing. Remove the comma
apply
For example
, Fam Trip, which is the page that publishes information about Iran and its features on Instagram, can aware other people
around the world about this
country. This
information on social media can encourage others to travel out of the boundaries.
A primary positive effect of this
development
on other countries
is economic growth. From this
viewpoint, if travelers
come to these areas, they may pay money to access some suitable facilities and services, Change the spelling
travellers
such
as accommodations, entertainment, and food in these regions. In addition
, as a result
of providing travelers
with them, most job opportunities including the restaurant manager, the chef and the park manager have been created in these destinations. Eventually, Change the spelling
travellers
this
development
gives rise to progress in the economic
in other Replace the word
economy
countries
.
However
, a potential negative effect of this
development
is traffic congestion. In terms of this
subject, as a result
of entering people
from other countries
, the number of them will increase significantly. This
results in overpopulation and increasing traffic in the destination. Yet, in my opinion, this
is not a valid idea due to
the fact that governments can invest in infrastructure and public transportation in order to address this
problem.
In conclusion, technological advancement has led to choosing other countries
as a travel destination by people
. However
, it is true this
development
would seem negative effects
under certain circumstances, in my idea, positive effects
in terms of the growth of the economic
and Replace the word
economy
Correct article usage
the creating
creating
Replace the word
creation
jobs
override adverse Change preposition
of jobs
effects
.Submitted by kargar.mh1992 on
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task achievement
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coherence cohesion
Make sure to maintain a clear structure throughout the essay. While your logical structure is good, sometimes the connection between ideas can be improved for seamless reading. Try using more linking phrases to ensure flow.
task achievement
Although your introduction and conclusion are strong, try to ensure every main point is fully supported with evidence and analysis to heighten your task achievement score.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are both present and provide a good overview and summary of your arguments, respectively.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a logical structure and each paragraph focuses on a single main idea, which aids readability.
task achievement
Your main points are well-supported and cover the topic comprehensively, offering a balanced view of the positive and negative effects of international travel.