IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

many people today are choosing to travel to other countries. why is this happening? is this a positive or negative development?

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Nowadays, most individuals prefer to travel to other
countries
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. In my idea, technological advancement and the
development
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 of different social media lead to choosing over-boundaries destinations by some
people
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.
In addition
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, to my opinion, the positive
effects
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 in connection with
this
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 selection are more significant than its minor negative impacts. The advancement in technology plays a critical role in getting familiar with different
countries
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 among
people
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.
This
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 means that
,
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apply
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 cyberspace and social media contribute to suitable opportunities for sharing experiences and introducing various unspoiled sightseeing.
For example
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, Fam Trip, which is the page that publishes information about Iran and its features on Instagram, can aware other
people
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 around the world about
this
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 country.
This
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 information on social media can encourage others to travel out of the boundaries. A primary positive effect of
this
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development
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 on other
countries
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 is economic growth. From
this
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 viewpoint, if
travelers
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travellers
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 come to these areas, they may pay money to access some suitable facilities and services,
such
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 as accommodations, entertainment, and food in these regions.
In addition
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,
as a result
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 of providing
travelers
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travellers
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 with them, most job opportunities including the restaurant manager, the chef and the park manager have been created in these destinations. Eventually,
this
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development
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 gives rise to progress in the
economic
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economy
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 in other
countries
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.
However
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, a potential negative effect of
this
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development
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 is traffic congestion. In terms of
this
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 subject,
as a result
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 of entering
people
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 from other
countries
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, the number of them will increase significantly.
This
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 results in overpopulation and increasing traffic in the destination. Yet, in my opinion,
this
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 is not a valid idea
due to
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 the fact that governments can invest in infrastructure and public transportation in order to address
this
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 problem. In conclusion, technological advancement has led to choosing other
countries
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 as a travel destination by
people
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.
However
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, it is true
this
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development
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 would seem negative
effects
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 under certain circumstances, in my idea, positive
effects
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 in terms of the growth of the
economic
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economy
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 and
Correct article usage
the creating
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creating
Replace the word
creation
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jobs
Change preposition
of jobs
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 override adverse
effects
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.

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task achievement
To improve your task achievement, make sure you provide more relevant and specific examples to support your arguments. This will help in illustrating your points more vividly.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to maintain a clear structure throughout the essay. While your logical structure is good, sometimes the connection between ideas can be improved for seamless reading. Try using more linking phrases to ensure flow.
task achievement
Although your introduction and conclusion are strong, try to ensure every main point is fully supported with evidence and analysis to heighten your task achievement score.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are both present and provide a good overview and summary of your arguments, respectively.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a logical structure and each paragraph focuses on a single main idea, which aids readability.
task achievement
Your main points are well-supported and cover the topic comprehensively, offering a balanced view of the positive and negative effects of international travel.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Advancements in transportation
  • Cultural curiosity
  • Economic reasons
  • Globalization
  • Educational opportunities
  • Digital nomadism
  • Healthcare tourism
  • Tourism industry growth
  • Personal development
  • Interconnectedness
  • Higher living standards
  • Remote work
  • Broaden their horizons
  • Affordable travel
  • Medical treatments
  • Global perspective
  • Air travel options
  • Cuisines
  • Lifestyles
  • Job opportunities
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