Some people think that Olympic games are exciting events that bring other nations together. Other say Olympics is a waste of money and the money could be better spent on other things. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

In modern times, It is a common belief that the
Olympic
Match is one of the
events
that can bridge the relationship gap with distinctive
countries
.
Nevertheless
, Some
people
think that
this
event
is the cause of waste of
money
instead
of using it for other useful things.
This
essay will analyze both sides of the argument
further
in the following treatise.
Besides
that, from my point of view, I believe that the
Olympic
games have many advantages to connecting globally. Admittedly, Organizing the
Olympic
Games requires a lot of costs from the
countries
hosting the
events
.
In other words
, to be able to organize, The government must carefully prepare perfect facilities for players and spectators. Because the audience watching
Olympic
events
are often famous
people
from different participating
countries
, or
also
high-ranking officials representing those
countries
.
Therefore
, Through the organization of the
Olympic
Games, the relationship between
countries
on different continents will become closer and better, thereby bringing peace to the world.
For instance
, it can take World Cup Football is an example, it is held every 4 years and has the participation of many
countries
around the world.
Moreover
,
This
event
is
also
a symbol of peaceful relationships between
countries
.
On the other hand
, some
people
claim that to have the perfect campus for that
event
, the cost of renovation, decoration, and design is
also
very expensive and costly. To be specific in the Asian Cup football tournament, Vietnam and other
countries
in Asia spent so much
money
for preparing
this
event
, and the cost is more than tens of millions of USD.
Thus
,
people
think that it is an extreme waste of
money
,
instead
the government can use that
money
Change preposition
for
show examples
to charity poor households or refurbish the infrastructure of residential areas. to bring more good things to the local
people
instead
of meaningless entertainment.
However
, from my point of view, I think the benefits of hosting the Olympics outweigh the disadvantages.
Because by
Correct word choice
By
show examples
organizing
this
event
, the economy of the organizing
countries
will increase strongly,
as well as
become more famous. At the same time, it helps develop good diplomatic relationships. In short, organizing
Olympic
events
has many benefits for developing the country's economy,
as well as
diplomacy.
However
, the organization
also
needs to consider the country's
overall
finances.
Submitted by [email protected] on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your essay presents a clear structure with a well-defined introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, try to refine your main points and ensure they are directly addressing the topic at hand. Also, make sure to provide more specific examples to strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
While your ideas are generally clear, some phrases are a bit awkward or unclear. Make sure to proofread for grammar and syntax to ensure readability. Additionally, work on transitions between paragraphs for smoother flow of ideas.
coherence cohesion
Your essay contains a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the discussion.
task achievement
You have provided both perspectives on the topic, showing a balanced view before presenting your own opinion.
task achievement
The main points are backed by relevant examples, which helps to substantiate your claims, though even more specific examples would make your argument stronger.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Promotes global unity
  • Cultural exchange
  • Economic benefits
  • Job creation
  • Tourism
  • Infrastructure
  • Active lifestyle
  • Financial undertaking
  • Economic burden
  • Underutilization
  • Wasted resources
  • White elephants
  • Opportunity cost
  • Critical areas
  • Social welfare
What to do next:
Look at other essays: