Some people think that Olympic games are exciting events that bring other nations together. Other say Olympics is a waste of money and the money could be better spent on other things. Discuss both views and give your own opinion
In modern times, It is a common belief that the to charity poor households or refurbish the infrastructure of residential areas. to bring more good things to the local
Olympic
Match is one of the events
that can bridge the relationship gap with distinctive countries
. Nevertheless
, Some people
think that this
event
is the cause of waste of money
instead
of using it for other useful things. This
essay will analyze both sides of the argument further
in the following treatise. Besides
that, from my point of view, I believe that the Olympic
games have many advantages to connecting globally.
Admittedly, Organizing the Olympic
Games requires a lot of costs from the countries
hosting the events
. In other words
, to be able to organize, The government must carefully prepare perfect facilities for players and spectators. Because the audience watching Olympic
events
are often famous people
from different participating countries
, or also
high-ranking officials representing those countries
. Therefore
, Through the organization of the Olympic
Games, the relationship between countries
on different continents will become closer and better, thereby bringing peace to the world. For instance
, it can take World Cup Football is an example, it is held every 4 years and has the participation of many countries
around the world. Moreover
, This
event
is also
a symbol of peaceful relationships between countries
.
On the other hand
, some people
claim that to have the perfect campus for that event
, the cost of renovation, decoration, and design is also
very expensive and costly. To be specific in the Asian Cup football tournament, Vietnam and other countries
in Asia spent so much money
for preparing this
event
, and the cost is more than tens of millions of USD.Thus
, people
think that it is an extreme waste of money
, instead
the government can use that money
Change preposition
for
people
instead
of meaningless entertainment.
However
, from my point of view, I think the benefits of hosting the Olympics outweigh the disadvantages. Because by
organizing Correct word choice
By
this
event
, the economy of the organizing countries
will increase strongly, as well as
become more famous. At the same time, it helps develop good diplomatic relationships.
In short, organizing Olympic
events
has many benefits for developing the country's economy, as well as
diplomacy. However
, the organization also
needs to consider the country's overall
finances.Submitted by [email protected] on
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task achievement
Your essay presents a clear structure with a well-defined introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, try to refine your main points and ensure they are directly addressing the topic at hand. Also, make sure to provide more specific examples to strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
While your ideas are generally clear, some phrases are a bit awkward or unclear. Make sure to proofread for grammar and syntax to ensure readability. Additionally, work on transitions between paragraphs for smoother flow of ideas.
coherence cohesion
Your essay contains a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the discussion.
task achievement
You have provided both perspectives on the topic, showing a balanced view before presenting your own opinion.
task achievement
The main points are backed by relevant examples, which helps to substantiate your claims, though even more specific examples would make your argument stronger.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.