Some people think that Olympic games are exciting events that bring other nations together. Other say Olympics is a waste of money and the money could be better spent on other things. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

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In modern times, It is a common belief that the
Olympic
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Match is one of the
events
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that can bridge the relationship gap with distinctive
countries
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.
Nevertheless
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, Some
people
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think that
this
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event
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is the cause of waste of
money
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instead
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of using it for other useful things.
This
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essay will analyze both sides of the argument
further
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in the following treatise.
Besides
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that, from my point of view, I believe that the
Olympic
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games have many advantages to connecting globally. Admittedly, Organizing the
Olympic
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Games requires a lot of costs from the
countries
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hosting the
events
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.
In other words
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, to be able to organize, The government must carefully prepare perfect facilities for players and spectators. Because the audience watching
Olympic
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events
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are often famous
people
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from different participating
countries
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, or
also
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high-ranking officials representing those
countries
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.
Therefore
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, Through the organization of the
Olympic
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Games, the relationship between
countries
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on different continents will become closer and better, thereby bringing peace to the world.
For instance
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, it can take World Cup Football is an example, it is held every 4 years and has the participation of many
countries
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around the world.
Moreover
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,
This
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event
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is
also
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a symbol of peaceful relationships between
countries
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.
On the other hand
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, some
people
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claim that to have the perfect campus for that
event
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, the cost of renovation, decoration, and design is
also
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very expensive and costly. To be specific in the Asian Cup football tournament, Vietnam and other
countries
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in Asia spent so much
money
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for preparing
this
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event
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, and the cost is more than tens of millions of USD.
Thus
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,
people
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think that it is an extreme waste of
money
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,
instead
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the government can use that
money
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Change preposition
for
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to charity poor households or refurbish the infrastructure of residential areas. to bring more good things to the local
people
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instead
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of meaningless entertainment.
However
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, from my point of view, I think the benefits of hosting the Olympics outweigh the disadvantages.
Because by
Correct word choice
By
show examples
organizing
this
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event
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, the economy of the organizing
countries
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will increase strongly,
as well as
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become more famous. At the same time, it helps develop good diplomatic relationships. In short, organizing
Olympic
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events
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has many benefits for developing the country's economy,
as well as
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diplomacy.
However
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, the organization
also
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needs to consider the country's
overall
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finances.
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task achievement
Your essay presents a clear structure with a well-defined introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, try to refine your main points and ensure they are directly addressing the topic at hand. Also, make sure to provide more specific examples to strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
While your ideas are generally clear, some phrases are a bit awkward or unclear. Make sure to proofread for grammar and syntax to ensure readability. Additionally, work on transitions between paragraphs for smoother flow of ideas.
coherence cohesion
Your essay contains a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the discussion.
task achievement
You have provided both perspectives on the topic, showing a balanced view before presenting your own opinion.
task achievement
The main points are backed by relevant examples, which helps to substantiate your claims, though even more specific examples would make your argument stronger.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Promotes global unity
  • Cultural exchange
  • Economic benefits
  • Job creation
  • Tourism
  • Infrastructure
  • Active lifestyle
  • Financial undertaking
  • Economic burden
  • Underutilization
  • Wasted resources
  • White elephants
  • Opportunity cost
  • Critical areas
  • Social welfare
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