Many people nowadays spend a large part of their free time using a smartphone. What do you think are the reason for this? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
By developing
technologies Change preposition
Developing
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
smart phones
and become the most important item to the person, Correct your spelling
smartphones
they
spend all Correct word choice
and they
the
Change the word
their
time
on it
. Which it become an addiction. In my Correct pronoun usage
them
opinion
it has become Add a comma
opinion,
danger
Replace the word
dangerous
on
our social Change preposition
to
life
and we will go through the reasons of how it reflect
negatively on us.
Change the verb form
reflects
To begin
with, smart phones
Correct your spelling
smartphones
has been
become necessary Wrong verb form
have
item
Fix the agreement mistake
items
to
Change preposition
for
adult
and kids which may lead to Fix the agreement mistake
adults
be
used negatively. Change the verb form
being
For example
, if the child use
Change the verb form
uses
for
Change preposition
apply
lone
Correct your spelling
alone
time
it will affect him negatively because he will be distracted from his study
, or his Fix the agreement mistake
studies
homework's
and will delayed it to another day. Change noun form
homework
however
, also
the
adults may use it negatively by spending a lot of Correct article usage
apply
time
and forget
Wrong verb form
forgetting
his
Correct pronoun usage
their
live
. Replace the word
lives
For example
, he will become less care
about his family, Replace the word
careful
also
he will start to forget participating
in Change the verb form
to participate
daily
routine.
Correct pronoun usage
his daily
Moreover
, with
the variety of communication and video apps that Change preposition
apply
attracted
Wrong verb form
attract
teenagers
Add a comma
teenagers,
it
make them Correct pronoun usage
apply
to
Change preposition
apply
creat
their Correct your spelling
create
community
and Correct word choice
own community
disconnected
from Wrong verb form
disconnect
the
real Correct article usage
apply
life
. For example
, the teenager could creat
a new online community for him and forget to live his real Correct your spelling
create
life
.
In conclusion, using smart phone
in Correct your spelling
smartphone
free
Correct pronoun usage
your free
time
with out
controlling it will Correct your spelling
without
affected
you negatively Change the verb form
affect
Correct word choice
and be
be
pulling you from living your real Unnecessary verb
apply
life
.Submitted by fofo-_-qtr on
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task achievement
To improve your task response, make sure to fully address both parts of the question. While you provided reasons why people might spend a lot of time on smartphones and discussed some negative aspects, consider discussing positive aspects, if there are any, for a balanced view.
task achievement
Enhance the clarity of your main ideas. For example, you could more explicitly state your main points at the beginning of each paragraph and ensure each paragraph focuses on a single idea.
task achievement
Work on providing more specific examples to support your points. Vivid, detailed examples will make your argument more compelling and demonstrate your understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Improve coherence by ensuring each paragraph flows logically to the next. Use linking words and phrases to guide your reader through your essay.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each of your main points is clearly supported with evidence or elaboration. This will make your essay more persuasive and its structure more solid.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present, which provides the essay with a clear structure.
task achievement
You have identified and discussed several key points, showing a good understanding of the topic.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.