IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The graph shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The graph shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.
#minutes #proportion #population #three #countries #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The data illustrate the proportion of
people
 who are 65
years
 old and above from 1940 to 2040 in three different countries.
Overall
, the number of
people
 aged
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
65
years
 old and above has
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increased from 1940 to now and is projected to continue to
rise
 until 2040.
Additionally
,
Japan
 witnesses the highest
rise
 in
such
population
, starting at the lowest position among the three nations and ending with the highest figure. In 1940, the number of
people
 aged 65
years
 old and above in
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 composed almost 10% of the
population
 of
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
, marking it the highest in the graph. Sweden landed as the second highest with approximately 8
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
,
while
Japan
 had the lowest with 5
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
. From there, the data
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 and
Japan
 started rising to almost 15
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in 1980 for both countries. After 1980, the figure of
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 experienced a period of gradual decline before picking up in 2020 and is forecasted to reach close to a quarter of the
population
 in 2040. Sweden,
on the other hand
, kept rising from 1980 to reach a peak
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 2018, marking a fifth of the
population
;
then
, the data plummeted slightly until 2030, before being predicted to
rise
 again to reach exactly a quarter of the
population
.
Conversely
,
Japan
 stood
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
third place in the graph, seeing 5% of the
population
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
65
years
 old and above, in 1940. From there, the number slowly
decrease
Wrong verb form
decreased
show examples
 to almost 2.5% in 1985 before increasing steadily to
estimatedly
Correct your spelling
estimated
estimate
 reach 10
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in 2030. After that, the figure is expected to
rise
 sharply and peak at 25%, before gradually
increase
Change the form of the verb
increasing
show examples
 to 27.5% in 2040.
Submitted by kimtruong270192 on

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, years, rise, japan, population, usa, percent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reach" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gradual" was used 2 times.
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