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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The graph shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#proportion #population #three #countries #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The data illustrate the proportion of
people
Use synonyms
 who are 65
years
Use synonyms
 old and above from 1940 to 2040 in three different countries.
Overall
Linking Words
, the number of
people
Use synonyms
 aged
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
65
years
Use synonyms
 old and above has
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increased from 1940 to now and is projected to continue to
rise
Use synonyms
 until 2040.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
Japan
Use synonyms
 witnesses the highest
rise
Use synonyms
 in
such
Linking Words
population
Use synonyms
, starting at the lowest position among the three nations and ending with the highest figure. In 1940, the number of
people
Use synonyms
 aged 65
years
Use synonyms
 old and above in
Use synonyms
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 composed almost 10% of the
population
Use synonyms
 of
Use synonyms
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
, marking it the highest in the graph. Sweden landed as the second highest with approximately 8
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
,
while
Linking Words
Japan
Use synonyms
 had the lowest with 5
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
. From there, the data
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
Use synonyms
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 and
Japan
Use synonyms
 started rising to almost 15
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in 1980 for both countries. After 1980, the figure of
Use synonyms
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 experienced a period of gradual decline before picking up in 2020 and is forecasted to reach close to a quarter of the
population
Use synonyms
 in 2040. Sweden,
on the other hand
Linking Words
, kept rising from 1980 to reach a peak
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 2018, marking a fifth of the
population
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;
then
Linking Words
, the data plummeted slightly until 2030, before being predicted to
rise
Use synonyms
 again to reach exactly a quarter of the
population
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.
Conversely
Linking Words
,
Japan
Use synonyms
 stood
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
third place in the graph, seeing 5% of the
population
Use synonyms
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
65
years
Use synonyms
 old and above, in 1940. From there, the number slowly
decrease
Wrong verb form
decreased
show examples
 to almost 2.5% in 1985 before increasing steadily to
estimatedly
Correct your spelling
estimated
estimate
 reach 10
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in 2030. After that, the figure is expected to
rise
Use synonyms
 sharply and peak at 25%, before gradually
increase
Change the form of the verb
increasing
show examples
 to 27.5% in 2040.
Submitted by kimtruong270192 on

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, years, rise, japan, population, usa, percent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reach" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gradual" was used 2 times.
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