The internet and technology, like mobile phones and laptops, are connecting us to each other every hour of the day via networking sites and applications. Do you think it’s an advantage or disadvantage? Explain your answer. Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.
Modern technologies ,
such
as mobile phones
and laptops , can connect us to each other every hour of day
with networking sites and a big board of Add an article
the day
aplications
. I think Correct your spelling
applications
this
issue has some advantages and some disadvantages that I want to explain them.
To begin
with , it is clear that
mobile phones
are available every
moment . Change preposition
at every
moreover
, these are very useful when we have to multi-task. for example
, we can connet
to the Correct your spelling
connect
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
and
do our duties and talk to our friends Correct word choice
apply
also
at the same time. therefore
, we can communicate with all people
in
Change preposition
apply
every where
in the world Correct your spelling
everywhere
for understanding
everything. Change preposition
to understand
Hence
, because thechnology
has improved , almost most Correct your spelling
technology
people
prefer to learn many skills via Add an article
the internet
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
due
to Change preposition
apply
save
their Change the verb form
saving
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
as well as
their energies
. Fix the agreement mistake
energy
in addition
, they can extend their trades by
the Change preposition
via
internet
. to explain Capitalize word
Internet
furthere
, they can sell their products online without any taxes. Correct your spelling
further
this
is more hassle-free compare
to Wrong verb form
compared
sell
in malls.
Wrong verb form
selling
On the other hand
, there are some disadvantages in this
issue. since ,
Remove the comma
apply
this
is undeniable that the internet
and mobie
Correct your spelling
mobile
phones
have bas
Correct your spelling
a bad
affect
on us and our children Correct your spelling
effect
also
owing to addiction to the internet
. unfortunately , a lot of people
flount
their wealth on social media and others compare their lives with Correct your spelling
flaunt
themeselves
. Correct your spelling
themselves
also
, the internet
causes physically
Change the word
physical
poblems
, if Correct your spelling
problems
people
use that very much. it can bad
Add a missing verb
have bad
affects
on the eyes especially for children. Correct your spelling
effects
additionally
, the wifi can cause cancer . so this
is very dangerous.
to sum up
, technology and mobiles
Change the noun form
mobile
phones
are an
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
excptionally
good items if we use Correct your spelling
exceptionally
according
to essential needs to improve. since it Correct pronoun usage
them according
linked
us with our Wrong verb form
links
surrounding
as much as possible.Replace the word
surroundings
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task achievement
You have addressed both the advantages and disadvantages of modern technology, which is good. However, the response could be more fully developed with additional details and specific examples.
coherence cohesion
Try to improve the logical flow of your essay. Use more linking words and transitions to connect ideas and paragraphs more smoothly.
task achievement
Further elaborate on your main points with clear examples. For instance, provide specific situations in which mobile phones enhance productivity or illustrate how internet addiction impacts individuals' lives.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has one main idea and that this idea is fully explained and illustrated.
task achievement
The essay covers both sides of the argument effectively and presents a balanced view.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion which frame your response well.
task achievement
You have made a good attempt at discussing the topic with relevant points.
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