IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In many countries today, crime novels and TV crime dramas are becoming more and more popular. Why do you think these books and TV shows are popular? What is your opinion of crime fiction and TV crime dramas? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#countries #crime #novels #tv #dramas #books #fiction
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The globally growing demand
toward
Change preposition
for
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 criminal series and books is undeniably significant. The reason behind
this
 lies
down to
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in
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 the fact that people nowadays tend to try things out of their daily lives to add a spice to their routine.
To begin
 with, the popularity of crime
fictions
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fiction
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 is
due to
desire
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the desire
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 toward sympathetic triggering actions to surge dopamine hormone , which is responsible for the prize feeling and provides energy by the incline rate of norepinephrine.
This
 is totally unintentional that the feeling of action and suspense makes them watch
these
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this
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 content chronologically.
For instance
 ,once you check streaming websites, you immediately realize that
this
 criminal categories are on top of the list .
This
 view solely motivates us to check
few
Correct article usage
a few
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 episodes and once you are in there is no way back and you find yourself spending hours on these dramas.Not only on screens, but
also
 books of
this
 category have
gain
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gained
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 an extreme reputation because of improving the imagination ability and promoting
the
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a
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 sense of tension by guessing
next
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the next
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 chapters in advance . On the flip side, these fictions may
rise
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raise
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 issues of
a serious dangers
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serious dangers
a serious danger
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 in
populace
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the populace
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 .If thought deeply in these ferocious ideas, it may ultimately lead to irrevocable consequences.
For
example
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example,
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 there was a man breaking in
news
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the news
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 in 2019
in
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during
show examples
Correct article usage
the corona
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corona
Capitalize word
Corona
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 lockdown
seasons
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season
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, who committed suicide with no mental illness history nor any personal issues. The thorough investigation of police teams revealed that there was no other trigger than these series to lead to
this
 catastrophic phenomenon. To wrap up what
have
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has
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 been discussed thoroughly , the rising tendency to stream criminal genres and to
digging
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dig
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 into extreme content
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on book
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book shelves
Correct your spelling
bookshelves
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 is inexorably high
due to
 the contribution
into
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to
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 intense excitement and hormones surge.
However
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However,
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 These genres
leaves
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leave
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 unavoidably solemn
consequence
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consequences
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 on mental health and
leaving
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leave
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 serious scars on the society at large.
Submitted by Narges on

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task achievement
Ensure all parts of the task are answered thoroughly. Your essay does answer both questions but can benefit from deeper analysis and more examples to strengthen your points.
task achievement
Your ideas are generally clear, but there are some sentences that could be phrased more effectively to improve readability. Reviewing sentence structure and clarity can help.
coherence cohesion
Work on organizing your essay more clearly. Consider using cohesive devices (e.g., 'Firstly,' 'Furthermore,' 'In conclusion,') to make your argument flow more naturally.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are good but can be more compelling. A clear, engaging introduction and a strong summary in the conclusion will leave a better impression.
coherence cohesion
You have good ideas, but providing more specific examples will make your essay more persuasive. Try to relate points more directly to everyday experiences and concrete situations.
task achievement
You have successfully answered both questions posed by the task, which demonstrates a sound understanding of the topic at hand.
task achievement
Your essay covers relevant points regarding the popularity of crime dramas and literature, and you have linked them well to psychological effects.
coherence cohesion
You have a logical structure in your essay with distinct paragraphs addressing different aspects of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Your points about the dopamine effect and the potential negative influences are well-articulated.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • phenomenon
  • intrigue
  • enigma
  • compelling
  • addictive
  • chilling
  • forensics
  • procedural
  • thriller
  • suspense
  • psychological
  • criminalistics
  • deviant
  • intricate
  • red herrings
  • misdirection
  • sardonically
  • socioeconomic
  • catharsis
  • moral ambiguity
  • multidimensional
  • protagonist
  • antagonist
What to do next:
Look at other essays: