IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

More and more people are relying on their private cars as a major means of transportation. Describe some of the problems over resilience on cars can cause and suggest atleast one possible solution.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The increasing amount of
individual's
Change noun form
individual
show examples
vehicle
Fix the agreement mistake
vehicles
show examples
 has been a difficult issue in every country for some time. Simultaneously, using each one's car in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
traffic causes many drawbacks
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I will elaborate on it in the following paragraphs.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the most
recent
Change the word
recently
show examples
 mentioned object about using
cars
Use synonyms
 is the
evironmental
Correct your spelling
environmental
degratation
Correct your spelling
degradation
.
According to
Linking Words
 some
researches
Fix the agreement mistake
research
show examples
, a large amount of carbon dioxide is emitted by gas-using
machine
Fix the agreement mistake
machines
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as motorbikes,
cars
Use synonyms
,
airplanes
Change the spelling
aeroplanes
show examples
,
yatts
Correct your spelling
yachts
watts
, etc; and carbon dioxide is a vital reason for
environment
Replace the word
environmental
show examples
 pollution.
This
Linking Words
 results in
greenhouse
Add an article
the greenhouse
show examples
 effect, soil contamination, acid rain, climate change, and many other troubles, which
affects
Correct subject-verb agreement
affect
show examples
 our well-being. We should be the
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
 who are responsible for
this
Linking Words
 situation.
Secondly
Linking Words
, we are
fortunated
Correct your spelling
fortunate
 to be
awared
Correct your spelling
aware
 of those problems and we can deliver some solutions
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
to
decrease
Wrong verb form
decreasing
show examples
 the number of private
cars
Use synonyms
. Those can be mentioned as using public transportation, government regulations about taxes on assets'
possesions
Correct your spelling
possessions
show examples
 and improving transportation system
plan
Correct subject-verb agreement
plans
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, if you go to school by your car, and everyone does, there will be 100
cars
Use synonyms
 on
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 street,
however
Linking Words
, if you travel by bus, and another 100 people do the same, there will only be 2 buses on the street,
thus
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 will save more spaces for other necessary vehicles
such
Linking Words
 as the ambulance, firefighter truck and police
cars
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, public vehicle usage can lead to an unpolluted environment and less carbon dioxide will be emitted. In conclusion, driving too many objects during traffic has been rising and led to
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
numerous problems. It is our responsibility to bring our awareness to propagate to others to not only prevent
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
environmental issues but
also
Linking Words
 protect the next generations.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Spelling and Grammar
Ensure to check for spelling errors and minor mistakes such as 'evironmental degratation' which should be 'environmental degradation'. Reviewing your writing for these small errors can make a significant difference.
Examples and Evidence
Try to provide more specific and detailed examples to support your arguments. For instance, when discussing public transportation, you could mention specific successful cases in certain cities or countries to strengthen your points.
Coherence
Improve the logical flow of your ideas by using more linking words and phrases to connect your sentences and paragraphs smoothly. This will help in making your essay more cohesive.
Introduction
Your introduction effectively sets up the topic and provides a clear framework for your essay.
Conclusion
The conclusion is strong and reiterates the main points while emphasizing the importance of collective responsibility.
Relevance of Points
You provide relevant points such as environmental degradation and potential solutions like public transportation, which are apt and relevant to the topic.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: