IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The chart shows British Emigration to selected destinations between 2004 and 2007. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart shows British Emigration to selected destinations between 2004 and 2007. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The bar graph illustrates the
number
Use synonyms
 of people who
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
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emigrated from England to five various countries during four
years
Use synonyms
 (2004 to 2007). It is evident that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 Australia was their most favourite destination.
However
Linking Words
, New Zealand and America were less popular.
According to
Linking Words
 the data, around 40
thousand
Use synonyms
 people travelled to Australia in 2004 and 2005. Their
number
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 skyrocketed to more than 50
thousand
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 in 2006, which was the highest compared to the other
years
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 and nations. Followed by a little drop in 2007. The second selected country was Spain with more than 30
thousand
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 passengers from 2004 to 2006. In 2007
this
Linking Words
 country saw a slight decrease, and less than 30
thousand
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 travelled to Spain. New Zealand and the USA had approximately the same
number
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 of visitors in the four mentioned
years
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. Around 20
thousand
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 British citizens had chosen these two countries as their destination.
However
Linking Words
, America hosted less than 20
thousand
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 emigrants in 2005. France had a few
number
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 of travellers at the outset of the period, but their
number
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 doubled in 2005 and reached more than 30
thousand
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, but it experienced a significant decrease in the
number
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 of visitors in the next two
years
Use synonyms
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, years, thousand with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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