In major cities around the world, traffic congestion has become a serious problem. How can this problem be tackled? Give reasons and examples from your own experience.

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There is no denying that the
problem
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of
traffic
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congestion
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is getting bigger in major
cities
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which reflects another social
problem
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in our generation. Many
people
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are suffering from
traffic
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congestion
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such
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as bus drivers, taxi drivers and car owners these days.
However
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, I reckon that we can overcome these obstacles
together with
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a few ideas. What matters most is reducing the amount of population of major
cities
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. Fundamentally,
traffic
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jams can stem from the
congestion
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of the population in a specific city.
This
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is a phenomenon that appears in large
cities
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these days.
According to
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a survey, the number of
people
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and registered
cars
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has increased at the same time in major
cities
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gradually.
In addition
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, some eminent scholars say
this
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problem
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is unstoppable in the long-term period.
However
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, in my perspective, there are solutions to the
problem
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of
traffic
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congestion
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in major
cities
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. The public can be willing to use
bicycles
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more than
cars
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if the
government
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invests in bicycle roads which Berlin has been doing. When I was living in Berlin for 2 years ago,
although
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Berlin is a big city, the public rode
bicycles
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to commute because the
government
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of Germany has been investing in making bicycle roads well.
Therefore
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, the public can avoid
traffic
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congestion
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to commute.
Moreover
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, many
people
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are likely to ride
bicycles
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more than
cars
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, if the
government
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supports financial things of
people
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using
bicycles
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instead
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of
cars
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.
For example
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, cutting national taxes by 3% for bicycle users. The biggest weakness of regular
people
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is financial things. In conclusion, for the reasons mentioned above, I personally believe that it is possible to overcome the issue of
traffic
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congestion
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if the
government
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would help actively.
Submitted by ryujaekwang0928 on

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logical structure
Work on further enhancing the logical flow between paragraphs, ensuring each idea seamlessly transitions to the next.
supported main points
Provide additional examples or evidence to support your points more convincingly.
clear comprehensive ideas
Clarify certain ideas and ensure every sentence contributes directly to the main argument.
complete response
You presented a complete response to the task, addressing both the problem and potential solutions.
relevant specific examples
Relevant and specific examples were used to support your arguments, such as the example of Berlin.
introduction conclusion present
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which provides structure to your argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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